Recent content by Alita

Thanks, you're right. I will :) And yes, I'm definitely taking it personally. I will try not to.

Thanks, Kevin. I really appreciate it.

Thank you for sharing this and adding this perspective, I appreciate it.

Thanks for your response! My friends definitely get a voice. I absolutely respect their feelings and decisions. I also get it, but at the same time it makes me so sad that they would even feel the need to state that they only want to see me and my SP separately. And the questions remain: Are...

Thanks, that’s a good point! I guess it’s all just a bit sensitive for me. I don’t want be be reactive though and make it a big deal when it doesn’t have to be. That’s a good way of looking at it, making it a cool privacy thing...

That makes sense. Thank you. I did just write my friend though (in a very friendly way) and they wrote back in a just as friendly way, that’s it’s really nothing more than that they’d feel “weird” about hanging out with both of us at the same time at this point, because they know our PPs. So...

Thank you for your response. I can imagine it being awkward to hang out, but I guess part of me has been dreaming that it might become this natural easy thing where everyone feels cool to hang out - with time. And that dream sort of shattered in a moment, when my friend set that boundary. Would...

I’m visiting friends abroad where my secondary partner (SP) lives. They are all friends too. My SP and I both have other primary partners. Recently, my friends said they were looking forward to seeing me, but that they’d talked about it and decided they didn’t want to hang out with my SP and me...

Yes, you're right. There are no guarantees in love. Good points. The joyful yes might come, though. But it's not there yet, and I wouldn't choose to try to get pregnant before feeling that joyful yes from both of us, and being perfectly willing to take on all the sacrifice it would entail...

So what do people do when this happens? When both truly, deeply want to stay in the marriage, but one wants ENM and one doesn't? Where's the compromise? This is so tricky!

Thanks for sharing, Kev. Sounds like a very similar situation. May I ask, have you talked about how long you might be willing to wait for things to pick up for you or what you'll do if they don't? Suck a tricky position to be in. And how does your wife feel about you're not being to happy with...

It was there but it got a lot stronger when I met this particular woman. We're considering having another kid, but very back and forth on that. I'm trying to figure out if it's actually what I/we want or if it's just societal conditioning - that you should want to have more and to give your...

Thanks for sharing your story and insight, I really appreciate it. I'm probably exaggerating the dozens of partners from that documentary, but she certainly kept busy and got lots of messages from guys all the time and went on many many dates, while her fiance struggled to meet anyone. He...

Thanks for your reply! He raised this concern himself in the very beginning: "What if I'm just monogamous, and you're polyamorous?" And that scares me, because it very well may be the case. And what then? Does that mean the relationship is doomed or that someone will always feel like they're...

Thanks, that makes sense. Maybe it will be easier for everyone one day when poly becomes more normalized.