Recent content by apophis

Yes, the views on child-rearing are particularly unfortunate especially as we now understand that a child would benefit more from a non-abusive environment than from having both parents around. I think the distinction you make in living polyamorously is crucial. I don't think everyone is the...

Hi BrigidsDaughter, I completely agree with you, though not that my definition of monogamy is misguided. I do, however, agree that most people in monogamous relationships have not decided that it's what they want or bothered to figure out exactly how a monogamous relationship would play out. I...

I disagree that it's not framing the discussion. In my questions to the hypothetical polyamorous person, I'm deliberating looking to exacerbate an emotional response. Through the use of words like "devotion" and "cherish," I'm underhandedly implying that there would be a lack of devotion in...

RainyGrlJenny: Your post at best barely addresses mine. Of course someone who expects you to reserve the lion's share of your time and resources for them at the expense of anyone else you would want to spend time with is abusive, but that's not what I said. I said a monogamous relationship is...

Nycindie: The word possessive doesn't have inherent meaning, and just because you can frame things to sound bad doesn't mean that they are. Many monogamous people might feel short-changed if their partner lavished attention on a platonic friend. This is for the simple reason that the choice to...

I don't necessarily dispute that point though I'm not sure what the capacity is in that situation to really keep both other people in your head all the time with a high degree of focus. I think even if you were spending most of your time with both of them together, focus would still have to...

You're right. The example does not require exclusivity, but you're missing the point (or at least didn't directly address it). My point was not to illustrate individual things that can only be done if exclusive. That's impossible. You'd never find something. Depending on what poly people choose...

Tonberry: I appreciate you sharing your perspective. It's very interesting to hear what it's like for you in practical terms. I'll try to respond in kind and see if I can demonstrate more of what it's like for me and thus why I find there's more quality time for me in monogamy. It's interesting...

Tonberry: I disagree that his wife being in love with the other guy is what hurts him. I think the lack of the full emotional commitment (committing all your emotional energy to one person) is what hurts him. turtleHeart: You seem like a very mature individual, but I agree with Tonberry in the...

NovemberRain: Looking forward to it. turtleHeart: I agree. My thoughts and feelings on the subject run very similar to what you seem to be experiencing. Tonberry: You seem to have side-stepped the argument through analogy without really addressing it. I'll take this piece by piece. Certainly...

Hi everyone, I really appreciate a forum like this which allows for open discussion on a topic that it can be hard to find people to openly discuss with. There's a subject that I'd like to address which I think gets thrown around a lot in somewhat less than valid ways. I see many poly people...