Recent content by Beodude123

I understand the context in which it was used a couple posts up, and I pretty much agree with it. After all, if I say "hey it's cool for you to go", she shouldn't feel guilty or anything.

I'm still having a hard time with Jen's desire for extra sex. I'm still on with it, since I think I just need to let go.... But I have a hard time signing onto something like that, when I feel unsatisfied (quantity wise) at times. I know Jen said it would make her hornier, so I guess I'll just...

So, with my discovery, it has given me a lot of perspective (if you want to know, look in my thread), and a view through Jens eyes. Denying what we are is a terrible thing, as is denying connections that may develop. I don't want to be an anchor for Jen anymore... Things probably won't be as...

Ha! You make me laugh, in a good way of course. So, it's been a pretty introspective couple of days for me. I'm teaching myself a lot (more) self honesty. Thinking back on some of my own experiences, I've forced my feelings to conform to the norm. I think on a lot of levels I was doing it...

This is going to sound kind of selfish, but at the same time, I don't think it is all that unreasonable. But at what point do you stop sacrificing, so she can be happy? If you aren't happy, I'm sure it brings Tess down, as well. She has decided to come forth with the change. I don't think it's...

Been a long time since my last update! I'll probably try and put some thoughts down over the next few days. I'm definitely in a lot better place than I was since my last post. I think my emotional wound is starting to heal up. I still am unsure of how I'll be able to go along with poly, and...

I find it very interesting how parallel what we have been going through is. I think we both have a lot of the same issues (even if we write them differently). I really think Tess just needs to stop poly-dating altogether for now, and give the concept time to sink in. If you are like me, it's...

I know you and I are going through much of the same thing, Freetime. I haven't been posting much on here lately. I didn't even want to think about anything polyamory related, since it would just piss me off. I've been feeling a lot less angry about things now, so I'm kind of floating around here...

Nobody "poisoned" me against poly early on. I just didn't yet fully realize what it meant to me. I really only started talking to other people after I started feeling like I couldn't be accepting of poly. I definitely enjoyed the closeness that was there at the beginning, and the communication...

I still come here... Just don't have much to say anymore.

While I know that the things I said were ridiculous, and I really don't think you want to screw everybody you see, the feelings behind that statement were genuine. Hurt, anger, jealousy.... I've been feeling very hurt lately... It hurts that she wants more than me. That I can't give enough love...

The first part seems pretty normal, as many of the guys on here go through the same thing. As for the second part, that's hard on me too, since every time I turn around, something that Jen said at one time has changed. What she wanted initially isn't really all that close to what she wants now...

Maybe this is why I have a hard time accepting it? I don't know. Obviously something was wrong, otherwise she wouldn't feel so right after finding poly. I'm pretty sure it wasn't something in the marriage, but I don't know what was. It's hard to take a break from talking about it. It's...

So... Did I hit rock bottom yesterday? I was tired of fighting to feel happy. The last couple weeks have been hard on me. I decided that the easiest thing to do was give in to sadness. I accepted that I was going to be sad, and it felt kind of... nice. Consistency was back. You can always get...

But what happens when I felt all those things? I get everything I want from Jen. It makes me feel like garbage that I don't reciprocate that.