Recent content by bija

It's a confusing gray area for me. I'm sure this is a topic I don't really understand fully, and don't understand how it's viewed in the poly community or by potential partners.

My work actually does feel sacred to me, and the connections and moments that happen are often beautiful. Do you want me to make it sound mundane? Is it a problem for you that I feel good about it, or that I want to differentiate the work I do from prostitution, or is it simply uninteresting?

I might like an asexual husband 🤔 or an asexual wife. Really, at home, I care much more about snuggles and companionship than I do about sex. That doesn't seem like something one could easily arrange by design though. Google thinks asexuals are 1% of the population. I'm similarly highly sexual...

Hi Kevin, Thank you for the welcome, thought, and articles. Reading all the replies, the truth is, I don't know that I do need mono-poly. I do want to continue with erotic massage. I may have been so jealous with former partners because they were also lying and there were big trust issues...

It's really interesting to hear that you've known such a high percentage of men to cheat in that situation. It does make sense that, for the men, it could be experienced as fundamentally emasculating in this culture or in general. That puts me off to trying at mono-poly with a man more than...

Thank you, Evie. You shared multiple things that are really helpful for me. 'Insisting on monogamy' as one, as opposed to stating a preference, or naming my fears? (Essentially, the fear that my emotions around a partner's new love will be intolerable, will undermine my sense of safety and thus...

Thank you, Seasoned. I appreciate the honesty of that. Very true, I don't want someone who is compromising/complying due to low self-esteem. I guess my hope is there are more people out there like Roo, for whom their partner being poly just isn't a particularly big emotional challenge. Maybe...

If I understand you correctly (not sure) imo you need to clarify with the old friend turned 2nd partner the nature of your existing primary relationship and what you are and aren't available for with her. also i'd discuss what "primary" means to her and to you. i have the sense it could mean...

Hi all, (´♡‿♡`) My name is Jules. I'm new to this site. I'm not new to being poly, but I'm attempting to be new to doing it more skillfully and thoughtfully. I've been giving consideration to being more intentional around how I structure my life relationally. I have a few interrelated things...

funny i weirdly didn't even notice that aspect of the article. i must've been distracted by curiosity and entertainment value. i do also share with the author a high value on principles of tantra but not at the exclusion of other styles of connection. On a different note I'm delighted that you...

To me therapy sounds like a great idea. Even though it sounds likely things will need to change form people could learn something, better hear one another, and part ways in greater harmony. In other words maybe therapy could create more growth / understanding / compassion / self-reflection out...

i thought the author is quite funny i can understand just wanting counter every point in the article but it's worth considering that some of the points he has may have some truth to them, for some people, some of the time personally i've observed polyamory can be natural and beautiful and the...