Recent content by breathemusic

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    Mourning my lost relationships & looking forward

    Consider pre-empting the question by throwing out there that he's a county employee before they can even ask about schedules. Then they might not actually even ask. And if they do.... frankly, it's none of their business, so just be vague and say that he's got a typical gov't job and don't...
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    Sex drive and LDR during a pandemic

    If part of it really is that AUS is really struggling to maintain the sexual connection with so much distance, if you can stand to mostly give that up, then I would suggest trying that. I don't mean give up the love and strong feelings, but maybe try to drop the sexting/sexy part and focus on...
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    Hard Choice or Just Need Perspective?

    Is your partner actually poly... or was poly something thrust upon her by her husband and so she's just dealt with it and decided to have another partner because her spouse is often busy with other partners? I may be making a big assumption here, but that's kind of what it sounds like.... and...
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    Is This the Final Red Flag? Hotwife, Poly, and Possible Rectification

    I'm just catching up on all of this and it seems like you've managed to talk through a lot of the concerns that have been addressed here... the one thing that I don't see that you mentioned is that when it comes to fluid bonding, you mentioned that you're now more open to it after hearing more...
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    If you're not planning on dividing assets and there isn't anyone else that you want to get married to, and divocing is so complicated where you are... why not just stop saying you're married? Stay legally married on paper, still file your taxes as married and take that benefit from the same...
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    I Love My Wife! But She Wants to Close Our Marriage

    Honestly, it sounds like even if she wasn't so adamant about closing the marriage, she just hasn't been able to get to a place where she is comfortable doing the things you want to do (more overnights, vacations, etc.). Ultimately, she wants her cake and to eat it too, and when she's not having...
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    Question for guys and the gals

    You're allowed to ask for what you want, and he's allowed to say no. And if he's tired, there are ways that take little physical effort on his side that he could use. If you can orgasm with a vibrator, then that takes little more than him literally holding a toy against you, so there really is...
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    Need help..when texting sexting interfers

    Fair enough, it was more of an honest misunderstanding than barging in... well, honest mistake on your part but I would imagine to him it felt like being barged in on. Either way, it's an area where now you both know and can learn from experience. So in this instance, maybe it makes sense to...
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    Need help..when texting sexting interfers

    It sounds like you both need to have a conversation about how you manage privacy and having private time to do your own thing or chat with others while living in the same house. And also how you can still allow for spontaneity with each other and others as well. On face value, if partner hasn't...
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    Can I trust my intuition when my inexperience is creating a cloud of fear?

    Ew. Veto, she gets to say EVERY time you can see each other in person? You have to be out to your people but you're a secret to his? I don't do double standards. drop this nightmare, as that's exactly what it is. This dude is trying to tell you that just because he's been doing it longer...
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    Negotiating Relationships

    Sounds like your partner is bad at time management. If it's important to you to have a certain amount of dedicated time, ask him to be willing to schedule it, and really schedule it. Put it in his calendar, set an alarm or reminder, and be willing to commit to that time that he has agreed to.
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    One Penis Size Policy

    First of all, I suggest refusing to disclose penis size of one partner to the other. Do you think that any future partner would really want you to tell your boyfriend that? He's not entitled to that information. So if the answer is just "I'm never going to tell you what their size is, so...
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    Advice re leaving a monogamous marriage

    Agree that it's best to move with speed and get some distance. It's difficult to feel that level of hurt and not lash out. If it was amicable, I'd say that you can take your time, but it's not. I do think that you should start considering, what does divorce and separation look like to you...
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    Polyamory in the time of COVID19

    Is your pod willing to have a conversation about what reasonable precautions that you might be able to take to allow you to start dating again? What if you did social distance dates with the intention of finding another serious partner that could then integrate into your germ pod? Of course...
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    Income Disparity Between Partners. How do I navigate vacations and finances?

    Your NP is allowed to feel envious of the fact that you get to travel with your other partner, but that doesn't mean that you're required to change your behavior or do anything about it. In fact, this is probably a really important exercise for people being responsible for their own feelings...