Recent content by CaptainCharisma

I was a serial monogamist up until a year ago. It made me desperately unhappy because I loved each of my partners so much but felt unable to maintain focus on one person for more than a year or two. When I learned about poly, I vowed to be poly forevermore, etc. and feel a lot more balanced as a...

Thanks for the resources reflections. I had a therapist but recently fell off the wagon. I try to remind myself that abuse is abuse, but it's difficult not to feel responsible. Jay has been moved out for several weeks now. It's been weird. He hasn't really contacted me much, although he did...

How did you discover polyamory? I'm interested in hearing everyone's origin stories--how did you first learn about polyamory? If you are poly, how did you discover this (or did you always know)? Did you have a partner at the time, and did they make the transition with you? etc. Also, state your...

My name is Captain. I'm a 22 year old woman-ish person, and I am slowly acclimating myself to a polyamorous lifestyle. I have been poly since November 2014. I'm writing this blog mostly as a therapeutic device because I have an extremely hard time processing my emotions and opening up to others...

I'm also in a weird place because Jay is moving out and we likely won't stay together after he does. Jay is a big reason why Perry and I haven't had the relationship we wanted to have. (He imposed a DADT policy.) On one hand, this is great because Perry and I can become a little more open about...

Thanks for the helpful comments, everyone. I'm investigating various articles right now about tackling jealousy. I guess I'm afraid of losing time with Perry. I'm also afraid that he'll enjoy the NRE so much that he focuses entirely on her (he tends to get tunnel vision) and forgets me, or...

Graviton, thank you for the extremely thought-provoking comments. I'll have to mull them over before I can respond thoroughly. But I think you covered my major fears. kdt, thanks for the sources. My boyfriend is a very warm and open person without a great sense of social boundaries. He enjoys...

Tips on dealing with jealousy Could anyone give me tips on dealing with jealousy, both in the moment and over the course of a relationship? My boyfriend says he isn't interested in dating anyone else right now, but he gets a LOT of attention from other women. I want him to feel free to do...

I'm INFJ also!

Jay and I started being exclusive maybe three months into our relationship. But we never saw other people--talked about it, sought it out, I went a lunch date or two, but nothing more than that. And it was not something we discussed much because at that time we didn't have a serious commitment...

All I know for sure is that I can't wait indefinitely. The short-term future is hazy for me--I want to experience flexibility and a freer lifestyle (traveling, working less, etc.) but in the long term, I do still want a more "typical" family life: house, kid, etc. I talked to Jay again and told...

I guess technically it's a self-imposed rule, but people (including Jay) have said that I act flirtatiously in general. That and the fact that our relationship wasn't monogamous when we started seeing each other seems to be a big part of why he's nervous. I also disclosed to him that I had...

A while back I posted about wanting to open up my relationship with my serious boyfriend, Jay. Unfortunately the more discussion we had about polyamory, the more distressed he felt, and now the issue has been put on the table for the time being. I'm trying diligently to be patient, but I'm...

I know it is terrifying to imagine what others will think of you. But in the end, this is YOUR life. If her friends and family judge you for breaking up with her, that is something they need to deal with, not you. You need to do what is best for your own lifelong happiness. You are clearly...

In regards to CPS... I would be wary of framing it as "If you don't leave him, I will report him to CPS." This puts an extraordinary amount of pressure on her to leave someone she is clearly not ready to leave. Creating an ultimatum would most likely result in her resenting/rejecting you and...