Recent content by CautiousLoops

Sweetcrusader I think you make a great point when you said "The main thing that I needed to understand was that he wasn't lying to get away from me (which is what my ex did) but lying because he wanted to be with me and was afraid of what it may mean." I think the root of the lying makes all the...

My partner of 6 years has a history of lying to me. He was raised to believe that any way you could get out of conflict, get out. That included lying. He has admitted to me that he has lied most his life. Not all the time big things, sometimes little things - but lying nonetheless. Vicious...

an update... I suppose I should update - I appreciate all of the feedback. I had a "meeting" with FM and they didn't fail to make it the most awkward thing ever. I went in there with the plan to be very open & honest and because they were being so awful and weird I ended up just giving a big...

I plan on being it. It's just hit a new level where he told my friend he would like to get together with her and discuss if my partner is good for me or not. Who the F does that? Why is it any of his business at all whatsoever? Im so stunned when people all of a sudden want to get involved in...

I'm in a tough situation. Long story short 4 months ago a family member (FM) caught me out with the OTHER bf, a concept FM does not and will never understand. He immediately lashed out at me - IN FRONT OF other bf - and made me cry. Now, I'm probably just too emotional and obviously never...

The problem being that those who are not aware of our lifestyle and do not understand it simply see me (and my partner) as being completely selfish and wanting the best of both worlds. I don't believe many can comprehend that way of thinking, thats why we mostly leave our personal life to...

thanks for all the responses. Sorry Im being a little impatient. I guess I have googled the heck out of this & generally the consensus is "omg you clearly don't love your bf if you are trying to get with his friend" of course, this is the population that believes in true monogamy, and is not at...

based on the one response Im guessing nobody has done this before?

thanks for the response. I guess I am a little confused about the gossip part & finding somewhere else to vent --- do you mean within our group of friends? My partner and I do not share our relationship choices with our friends, as most do not understand. His friend though, DOES know about our...

Is dating my partner's good friend a no no in polyamory? I know that the basis would be having all parties knowing and open and in agreement but is it a boundary that shouldn't be crossed? We all get along very well, are all very good friends and spend many days a week together. We trust one...

I have to agree with the others. Poly should not be something you explore to fix something in the relationship. My bf and I are exploring the idea because while we love one another very deeply and know we are spending the rest of our lives together we also know that there is room in life for...

I know I am new to this but my suggestion as well would be to find someone that you can be dating/seeing. I know that for me having my bf have someone and me be reliant on that person as well would probably prove difficult as you cannot always spend all that time together, they are going to want...

Thanks for all the responses. It has just been a difficult thing to wrap my head around. Finding out that this is what I want and perhaps what I am meant to be doing has been a very freeing experience, but the fear of losing what I love so much gets me to want to put the brakes on it. Life isnt...

When did you know you weren't monogamous? Im having a hard time dealing with the guilt of knowing I cant be monogamous. My partner and I have been together nearly five years. Ive always had the urges to explore other relationships but I havent had the confidence to voice them until now. I feel...

Hey everyone. Im new here. Long story short, I dont believe in monogamy. I havent for some years but have always been in a committed monogamous relationship because thats what I was supposed to be doing right? My boyfriend and I have been together for five years, and Ive kept all my attractions...