Recent content by cheryl

Our closed FMF triad was a spectacular failure for the following reasons: 1) Jealousy, on pretty much everyone's part, at one time or another. 3) Dishonesty. The guy would claiming to be at work or somewhere while with the other woman, because he was afraid one of us might go out on a date or...

But how can being poly or mono be hardwired into an individual, male or female, without accepting it for others? That's like saying "I'm gay, but I only want to be with straight men." If you really really feel it's right and good, it should be right and good for anyone, not just yourself. But a...

God, I wish I knew. If you ever find out, post it here. I'm currently in a V relationship with a man who doesn't want me or his other girlfriend to be with any other man. Neither she or I really have time for another relationship, so although it is fundamentally unfair, it hasn't been a deal...

I'm just curious how some people here decide who they are going to spend New Years Eve with. Im in a vee and since he has been very quiet about it I suspect I havent been chosen so I'm making other plans. But he spent almost every day this week with her and Christmas eve and Christmas Day so I'm...

I feel sorry for them too, and I have a lot of guilt about my past actions. I left because I couldnt stand the idea of lying and cheating and pretending anymore, and I had never heard about anything like polyamory. I came back because my daughter did not like traveling back and forth. And when I...

I feel stuck and don't know what I want anymore. I'm still living at home because I cant afford a place on my own and child support, and my husband, (who I don't sleep with) would have a hard time making the mortgage payments. Also I hate the idea of not seeing my daughter. I'm still in a vee...

Even though the consensus seems to be that your wife will not accept this arrangement, I wouldnt be a bit surprised if in the future it is the au pair who pressures you into choosing, once you are back together. She may say that she is willing to live with you as a couple, but I suspect that...

I think you guys should get your own place. Sounds a little cruel to me.

my question is Who do you spend New Years Eve with? Many people have kids or extended family for Christmas, but NYs is supposed to be kind of romantic couples night. I'm in a v and worried I wont be chosen.

I thought I was getting closer to compersion. The three of us even spent a day together and had dinner. I thought if I knew her better and saw her as whole person, not just my BF's GF, I'd feel better about it all. But then she asked him to start lying to me again, because she felt more...

I dont know much about those dating websites. I've looked at them and they kind of creep me out. I don't know if the people are real, if their pictures are real, or what they are really after. If you're going to meet people on line, you might even be better off on discussion website that has...

It almost sounds like you're competing with your wife or trying to even the score, instead of just looking for someone you like. No one wants to feel they are just being used to get back at a spouse, and if you mention your wife's four boyfiends, I bet thats what the women you've approached are...

is compersion real? or just an ideal people try to aim for? Is there anyone who thinks they sincerely feel compersion? Did you always feel that way or was there a transition from jealousy to "I'm okay, if I don't think about it too much" to acceptance, to feeling genuinely happy that your...

Sometimes I wonder if we blame ourselves or over analyze things that are perhaps just physiological responses to things. I don't even like the sound of strangers having sex in a hotel room next to me if I'm alone, and I don't even know them! For some reason it makes me feel this weird...

Here is an experiment that might interest you... although it's not related to polyamory, per se. Psychologists asked men and women which situation would bother them the most, if their significant other was falling in love with some one else, or if they had sex with someone else. More men than...