Recent content by Cholita

Hi All, thanks for the very wise words above. Although i did not follow your advice i did ponder deeply over it for quite some time, and now one year and 8 months on i am back to update on n how this is panning out, in the name of learning ang growing from it i hope. So i chose to leave...

Hey Fallen Angel. Sorry i never thanked you for your advice until now. But did read it a few times and tried my best to apply it as it made a lot of sense. So thanks, very wise words Made a conscious effort to just leave the relationship alone and don't focus too much on fixing its shortcomings...

Sure I am not at piece with myself. When it comes to self-care and care of my relationship, I am not really sure where to pin point the balance between taking initiative to cultivate the connection and being too pushy and too obsessive about optimizing it. I feel like if I step back and just...

He is a mellow guy for sure, but lately he has been really low on energy and its from living a hectic lifestyle as well as being with two women who have pulled him in either direction because both feel they are not getting their needs met. The break was something he really needed, but he...

As you said opening up a dyad is not easy.... for 6 years we had the respectable fairytale joined at the hip thing... Not because we cared about what mommy thinks or societal norms. We just literally could not get enough of each other. Such a strong connection like nothing ever!! Call it NRE or...

Galagirl, Thanks for taking the time to give me that detailed reply. I like the way you organised each of my thoughts. Below is a few things you said that I would like to comment on. I do, I spend a lot of time in my own head reflecting on how I could do better and be a better person. Read a...

I like to think that we started this journey because were both curious and open to the possibility of experiencing romantic love with more people than just ourselves. That we fully believed in our own love and felt comfortable and secure enough to share it with others. I don’t think we were...

Wow, thanks a lot guys, I really appreciate all of your insights. As Bluebird mentions, we clearly need some counselling. However, I have looked into it, and unfortunately we cannot afford it at all. I thought that maybe I could invite my husband to join this conversation at some point during...

My 7 year marriage has been going steadily downhill for the last 6 months and i'm really devastated at the thought of losing my hubby. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I really need some outside perspective on this. We have been through so much together, faced some incredible...

I agree with you!!! This is the kind of conversation I would like to have with him.. But if i say this to him it will be too confronting for him... I have tried believe me. I think he has difficulty with directly confronting questions. I guess my vague language is me trying to bring it up...

I dont think I let society dictate anything about my relationship, if we are poly then that is a pretty good indication that we dont care about social norms that much. I am just comparing our relationship to a not too distant past in which we were both very comfortable to ask each other for sex...

Yes, following all your advice, yesterday, I told him i appreciate his efforts to re-connect (I really i don't think he is trying that hard, but i am trying to offer positive reinforcement and to totally stay away from the negative stuff at this point). So i asked him "how are you feeling now...

Hi everyone, Thank you all for taking the time to give me advice. I am going to see a psychologist about my borderline traits and do some cognitive behavioural therapy or something to help me identify my emotions and deal with them before i get to blowing up stage... also trying to be more...

Both of you gave great advice, Thank you!!! NRE has definitely played a role in this. I remember in the beginning of our poly life when i was dating someone new and hubby was just with me. He got really insecure and I remember not feeling attracted to him because he didn't approach me in his...

Hi everyone, I need help! i think my marriage is falling apart I have been married to a lovely man for almost 7 years now. One year ago I started to have a very strong libido and felt like I needed to be physically close with other people. I was upfront and honest with my husband about it and...