Recent content by Devirajni

Wow, way to get personal. Why attack me? I'm not incredibly dull. Are you incredibly shortsighted? I was posting what worked for us. I'm a mono in a relationship with a poly, and no, I don't feel that my simply saying what are dealbreakers for me makes me a terrorist. He had a choice to be with...

One Vagina Policy (OVP) This may warrant a new thread, but I'll leave it to the moderators. I have a one-vagina policy in place with Hinge. I am fine with him having sex with his husband, even insisting that he saves something for Mike rather than go another round with me the day before Mike...

I'm a mono cisgender female in a poly vee; the hinge is my bisexual boyfriend, and the other arm is his gay husband who has casual sexual encounters but no other "relationships". Hinge has a male FWB that he sees very infrequently, perhaps twice or three times a year. I have found a great deal...

That was my original point - sorry if the sarcasm didn't come through well on the web. Many poly people, some of them on this forum, DO seem to think that poly means not lying ever, about anything. A frequent poster here has as their signature line "There's no lying in polyamory!" for example...

Thank you for bringing up about the fluid bonding, because I am not sure what to make of it... We had a discussion about six months ago during which I suggested I go on the pill if he was concerned about pregnancy (we have been using withdrawal and occasionally condoms) and he explained that he...

He tells me when he is going to his husband's city to see him and when his husband is coming here to our town or they are going elsewhere in the US together. Lying about Italy was not only unnecessary but uncharacteristic, and made me think that our relationship was not as trusting and open as I...

Hello everyone, So, Hinge and I had our first conflict this week (it's our first anniversary in a fortnight). Things have been really good - we've been seeing each other 4-5 times a week, lots of affection, intimacy, laughing. Our conflict stemmed not from him being poly, but because he lied to...

I know it is inevitable, and this is why I WANT to meet my metamour. I said I wasn't there yet because this has not yet happened. My boyfriend would not want us both to attend the same social event. I suspect the way it will go is that when his husband is visiting, his husband will attend...

I have not met my boyfriend's husband, 11 months in. The BF and I live in the same town; his husband lives in another state. I think if we all lived close, we would have met already. His husband visits our town every six weeks or so for a weekend or a few days and he goes there. My BF's...

Wow, everyone - thank you again for the support and the genuinely helpful advice. To be fair, my BF has never referred to me as secondary. He eschews labeling generally (he self-IDs as queer, he referred to his previous girlfriend and his husband as "I made them equal" instead of...

Thanks, WhatHappened (and the other person who sent me a private message) - it really helps to know that I am not the only person to have felt like this. Incidentally, it's a boyfriend, not a girlfriend. My boyfriend is bi, married to a gay man, and I am a straight(ish) woman (I like to joke...

This is what I wish I had the guts to say to my boyfriend at the moment. The italicized portions are my calmer self explaining what is going on to my emotional self. *** When I said I would miss you, you didn’t say it back, and said that the reason you didn’t was that you didn’t want to...

Thanks! Everyone, thank you so much for your input on this...for clarification's sake, he does not text or call his husband when he is with me, and when he is with him, I do not hear from him (except once, when he Skyped me at Christmas and had to hang up abruptly when his husband came into the...

...so my boyfriend had his monthly weekend with his husband this past weekend. I didn't suffer agonies of wondering if he was preferring to be with him, or anything like that. I am proud of myself for that - it's the first time the husband has visited the town where my boyfriend and I live and...

I am on the "girl" side of this. I'm mono. I work with someone who I assumed was gay as he was married to a man, and they had been together for 13 years before we met. Turns out, he is bi, and was attracted to me. We have now been together for 10 months. I have not yet met his husband as he...