Recent content by EugenePoet

I don't remember now if I mentioned -- I was on OKC but deleted my profile a couple of months ago. I've gotten into a wonderful primary relationship and for someone like me it's too easy to spend a lot of time playing around online. Plus once I started with LJ I decided to send my subconscious a...

I like Quath's post, above. Indeed, the possible existence of God(s) can't be disproved. However, you cannot disprove the existence of an elaborate sculpture of Fatty Arbuckle made of cheese and orbiting the star Betelgeuse, either. It's damned unlikely to exist, but you could spend your...

Side note -- loved the story about the rickshaw ride. My new GF had never been backpacking, and I took her on a two-night pack trip into the Three Sisters Wilderness. But I think we was already fallin' inna luv before we went (well, I know it) so the trip wasn't a fair test of the...

Forgive me if I get it all wrong, but what I find are the words of someone who needs very much to find who she is, and to fall in love with her own life. No, you can't do that by living for others' relationships. You can't do it by making other people happy while ignoring your own happiness...

I just wanted to add my voice to the others. You are being reasonable. His behavior is filled with red flags. Either he is trying, subconsciously or otherwise, to drive you away, or he is utterly selfish and lacks respect for you. I'm really sorry. I think everyone on the forum would agree that...

Ow. Ouch. Hold onto your heart, and hold a lot of gentleness in reserve. Someone will need to pick up the pieces. If you love someone, then there is a time to watch, because you can't help, and then there will be a time to step forward, because it will be the time that you can help. A hot...

If you are interested in each having a secondary partner -- ie, each of you being in a vee -- then that brings up other dynamics. Your secondaries may or may not have a primary of their own; their needs will be different depending on what other relationships they have and what their...

"Anyway, the thing that is scary and difficult is that he wants to, not whether I allow him or not." I just got back from a camping trip with a woman I really connected with, and we agreed -- independently and individually before we even talked about it -- that we would not have sex. When it...

Jbird, I haven't been on the thread from the beginning so forgive me if I repeat some stuff due to skimming. You write "Is it possible that I, too, am polyamorous...?" Yes, it's possible, and you will figure it out if you pay attention to yourself. 1. When you are in a relationship have you...

So it sounds like nearly all relationships are showing some restraint in displays of physical affection when at least certain other partners are present. That's my experience too, very much so. Might be a semi-subconscious manifestation of respect: as some have written, a feeling of not...

"I've never been able to stand anyone for more than 48 straight hours..." Yeah! Me neither. I've backpacked alone for years because I need to have no one around. I'm a people-pleaser personality and a bit of an empath, so I need that down-time when I don't have to feel others' emotions and...

Welcome! I suspect there's a bit of a dichotomy between being a bi man looking for a couple and a bi woman doing the same. Others may correct me, but I suspect it's more common for a couple to want a female "unicorn" than to be looking for a male one. So, not knowing your gender, I only note the...

Here's a thought: if you want relationships with the other couple, then keeping it about sex will keep it, well, mostly just about sex. That's okay, of course, especially in the swinger arena. But if you want to be emotionally close, then the swinger approach may not be what you're after. A...

I might suggest that a useful assumption is that anything "important" will be shared. For one thing, it's really unpleasant to keep significant secrets from a lover or spouse. For another thing, it's only fair to try to keep everyone in the relationships on the same page. For a third thing...

"How do I know?" I don't anymore. Over the last 3 months I've become more aware that it seems uncomfortable for me to be in love with more than one woman. As Mono writes, it's not a matter of self-control or denial, it's an internal circuitry of some kind. There are lots of electrical switches...