Recent content by Gardener9

Well I recognize that you have been at this for so much longer than we have @Tinwen - I suspect you may not even need such "rituals." Maybe down the road this will change for us as well. Being newer to the arrangement and still stabilizing, I kind of need the rituals to keep my nervous system...

So Kevin, I actually LOVE that you and Snowbunny go grocery shopping together! I think that is really sweet and valid in terms of reconnecting. Bird and I have been married for nearly 30 years and little domestic activities are something we have never minded - we just see them as excuses to...

On a separate thread, I was soliciting single best piece of advice received from other poly folks. @Magdlyn gave a great answer (as did others) and also encouraged me to share any advice I would give myself. Since my V is less than a year into this, I still don't feel qualified or experienced...

Ah, thank you for the clarification. The thing you described has precisely affected our Vee. In part, because I've been having to learn not to ask certain kinds of questions in my accustomed role of trying to support my wife emotionally. You actually warned me about this in a different thread...

Thanks @Magdlyn I think it's actually your postings I've encountered that have informed me the most about the pitfalls of the triad. Thankfully, my metamour and I have no such interest in one another - we're not remotely one another's type! 😁

Thanks @Evie ! Ah, ok, gotcha. So in your experience what's motivating a hinge to be painting one or both of the legs in a bad light with the other? Is the hinge trying to cover up their own mistakes in one dyad by falsely implicating the metamour as kind of bad actor? Or are they thinking it...

@Tinwen this one has really helped me begin to view my relationship with my wife, Bird, in much more concrete, meaningful terms. When reflecting on our previously monogamous relationship through the more abstract lens of "status" (exclusivity, privilege, etc) it can sometimes feel like I've been...

I laughed when I read this @Magdlyn ! I realize you're being serious and it's so true what you say. Feels like this is the first part of the education that so many receive when they visit this forum and encounter the insights of long term mods such as yourself. If I were to ask you to frame...

Wow, these are both really great! @YesThisIsDog242 thank you for your explanation (I'm already, at the early stage of my journey, finding your point has helped me overcome some jealousy) @Evie feel free to unpack or illustrate your point a little more if you like or have the time to do so...

What's the single best piece of advice another poly person has ever given you? Could also be a unique perspective they shared that helped improve your own poly relationship(s). Might have been shared on this forum, maybe elsewhere. To make it a little more challenging, just one thing (not a...

Wisconsin

Hi from Madison, WI! Hope you're all well!

Thank you both. What you say makes complete sense and I'm sure I'll eventually adjust to the expectations of the new relationship dynamics we're in. Part of the struggle for me, though, after thirty years of monogamous commitment to one another, is understanding what it means to be my wife's...

Hi friends, (Apologies if there's a thread for this already; couldn't find one) What's your philosophy or approach for supporting your partner when they are having or going through some kind of difficulty with their other partner (your metamour). I'm thinking "difficulty" could mean an...

Thank you FiveThumbs for your kind words. And for your honesty. As others before me have shared in this forum, this can be a lot of very difficult work - which may not always come to fruition in the way we hope. Although we are stable and mutually supportive now, in the initial days our path was...