Recent content by gwendolenthefair

I wanted to let the folks here who use polymatchmaker.com know that the people who run the site are reading your mail. I doubt they are reading all of it, but in at least some cases, they absolutely are. I was on "notice" there because I had openly criticized the moderation in the forums more...

Opalescent, I prefer not to have a relationship with the potential metamour because I have trust issues in situations where the metamour is a dominant. I don't like the power they can wield. I have been in a situation where my partner gave a dominant metamour too much power, and she chose to...

I have a long-distance SO, Kai, who is very big on wanting everyone to be friendly and get along. He has a new potential romantic interest, Nora. Nothing has happened yet; they've only seen each other twice. He has twice given me her contact information and encouraged me to get in touch with...

Nouriya, I'm in a similar boat. I have a LDR with my secondary partner and both of us are married to other people. We have four kids among us, and we own homes and are very settled in our communities. I only get to see him every 2-4 months, depending on what is going on. Although we have only...

Good points, Jericka and others. I do get that I'm not obligated to pursue anything with M. The reasons I wanted to give him a chance despite not being sure of my attraction to him were these: 1. I am a very visual person and I did not want to dismiss what might be a wonderful human being just...

I am puzzled by the behavior of someone I just started dating (maybe) and was curious as to what a group of random strangers would think about it. The history is this: My first contact with M. was an email from him on OKCupid. It was overall a very nice email, except he suggested a possible...

I am fond of men of size. It's been my personal experience that sleeping with a partner significantly smaller than my husband can be a problem and bodes ill for the sex life I have with them. It's not a length issue at all, it's a girth issue. I am used to well-above-average girth with my...

Idealist, we are in our forties, and my lover has used both Cialis and Levitra. In fact, I don't think we have ever managed to have even ten seconds of sexual intercourse without the Cialis (Levitra doesn't work for him at all), and even with it, he always loses his erection. Those pills are not...

nycindie, you seem to be quite fond of the word "vilify." As I have said previously in this thread, my last sexual partner outside of my boyfriend and husband was a year ago. I was tested seven months after my encounter with this other person (in which condoms were used). There was no need to...

My boyfriend is not blaming his wife for our sexual issues. He does think she is being unreasonable because, like me, he believes that fluid bonding is a safety issue, period. He is not breaking any agreements at present. He said that he wants to wait until a year has passed (not a year in our...

Thanks to everyone for their input on this. I haven't used this forum much yet, I'm more active on another one, but I so appreciate the variety of responses and how much thought everyone seems to put into them. I would like to respond to a few specific points several of you have made. First...

I doubt I'll see her before this summer. They live 2,000 miles away from me. I will be seeing him in April at a poly social event, which she likely will not attend with him, even though he wants her to come and I've encouraged it as well. (Plus the wife has an email friendship with my husband...

I already offered to use a diaphragm with him, AnnabelMore. It's rather ridiculous since he must have a zero sperm count (he was tested as such years ago, and he's never gotten his wife pregnant since his vasectomy, and she is younger than I am too). But I'd do it for her comfort. She nixed that...

I have been in a long-distance relationship with an amazing man for about six months, plus knew him virtually for about four months before we actually met. He and I are in love and it's quite wonderful! I sometimes feel like my life would be just perfect if I could only see him more often. Right...

I don't know, AnnabelMore. I didn't ask. I know the coworker is female, but also know that she isn't a potential partner for him, so I would think he could vary his lunch routine a bit, especially since he says he wants to talk to me. WTF, indeed! I am certainly not going to BEG any man to have...