Recent content by JustBob

There's been a lot of constructive responses to my questions and they have been very useful. There have also been a few very antagonistic, know it all, answers too. I have what I need - not everything is down to the guy as you seem to believe. But thankyou.

I'm not quite sure how that would lead to any resolution. She wants total freedom - it's clear she's wanted that since the beginning, since her epiphany, since suggesting the bf/gf experiment and agreeing the ground rules for it. I'm still on that journey - still moving along a road that could...

Not really. From the beginning this was always going to be a journey for me - for post drama her - in her new found "anything goes" state of mind, she had already made that journey. When she has unilaterally changed boundaries, moved goal posts and done things to suit her, it would have been...

Our son is 5. Having done a lot of talking over the weekend, she harbours a lot of jealousy that I spent my younger years travelling and doing stuff where as she married early and had her first kids straight away. Now that we have our own child she feels that he screwed up her "fun" and that is...

So it appears that this was a bigger part of things than I thought. Apparently married with a young child is "boring" and the bf provide excitement. So I'm now trying to work out how to re-energise the marriage... from what I was told this afternoon, that's down to me too. This isn't going well.

no, it's something that has "emerged" since the FWB thing started.

Other than the bits in red - absolutely spot on.

No, the drama was, in her own admission, down to her - but she keeps stating that it was the past and that I can't bring it up. It was never really steady FWBs and it was discussed. It didn't turn into a FWB thing, we played with people either as a 4, 3 or as 2s. i.e. she went out on her own...

If changing things up to suit herself without any discussion and without giving me the same "right" is breaking "some sort of imagined poly rule" then yes, I guess that's correct. Shouldn't she extend the same freedom to me? Shouldn't she discuss things to ensure that we're both comfortable...

21066 Thankyou for taking the time to reply. Yes I have a gf. no I don't need to see them more, the relationship is good but it is where we both want it to be. We set it up within the boundaries of what me and my wife originally agreed - my gf wasn't non-monogamous at the start and is finding...

Not really, I want her to simply acknowledge that I have a right to be comfortable and happy too. She has that right, apparently I don't. And we'd agreed to be open not poly. It's the opposite of what you said. She has and has exercised her right to control my other relationship. However, she...

100% not the case - but an interesting perspective. So her decision to not want to swing anymore and do the FWB thing - her choice imposed on me - is different in some way to my wanting to be comfortable and happy too in whatever it is we do? It's nice to be able to stereotype, but it isn't...

I guess the "situation" is that she's continually moving the goal posts, saying one thing and then, when it suits her, doing another. No discussion, no compromise, no rights for me to say "hang on". She's now in an "anything goes" mindset - she wants complete open freedom and I'm nowhere near...

Feel like things are hurtling out of control so here goes - time to ask for some thoughts. Married 7 years and we have a young son. Had been swinging, initially as a couple only, then with singles in 3-sums and then playing with those singles separately - but infrequently, maybe once or twice...