Recent content by keepinon

Welp, drunk update. Partner brings up person that is interested in them, so drunk me brings up friend. Partner goes through big upset episode. I am so upset myself now as they tried to act like I brought up my friend on my own and they never said anything. I am just upset about it all. Now that...

That is a very valid question. I really don't have an answer, which goes to show how misguided the feelings are. My partner does behave decently when they interact with others, but the raw emotions of it all, and some of the responses here had me worried. I think this was one of the more...

They are aware of the goings on and they are open to talking with my partner. My partner and I are not married. Neither of us are into the whole marriage idea. Since my previous reply on this thread, my partner has done some work on what questions they have and how they want to go about asking...

Typically, episodes like this are not common. It seems as though me talking to someone in a flirting manner triggered them into feelings of abandonment. I have been setting boundaries for these hard conversations, and have had to take multiple cool-down periods throughout these conversations...

After a lot of the advice from here, I made the decision that the open phone agreement was not a good thing to have. I have since talked with the partner about this, and explained that it isn't just about my privacy, but privacy for the people I am talking to. They were upset about that, and...

Going through the Polysecure stuff has brought attention to both of our unhealthy coping mechanisms. I would avoid any conflict like the plague, leading me to just ignoring any bad behavior. After a lot more talks, they understand that they need to do some self work and reflection before we talk...

That certainly would make it easier, but it's not something we can afford. Those are probably the feelings they are going through, but it feels like they are taking those feelings and using them as weapons. Yeah… It’s starting to become pretty clear that I could have handled this situation...

We had another conversation so I have another update. They said that they feel like they had placed me on a pedestal, and when I had interest in someone else, they felt like they were being replaced. Now they are back to being mad that I am still texting my friend, even with the compromise that...

This situation would be so much easier if I felt the way my partner thinks I feel about the relationship. (They did specifically say that they think I want out of this relationship and want to have something set up before ending it.) It starts putting doubt in my mind about their motives, since...

Yeah that has been done. Yeah I have been trying to express that to them but they are being difficult about it. They seem to be under the impression that our personal boundaries need to be exactly the same. Where I think we should both have our own agency on that and just understand that we...

Is this something likely to just be a constant battle? After more talking, trying to figure out what it is that is the core issue of the problem, their view is that I told my friend about my feeling for him before I told my partner. Part of me wants to say if that is so much of a problem for...

One other frustrating aspect that happened was I was on my friend's side of town, and wanted to stop by to drop something off. I communicated this with my partner, with the clear wording that if this is something that would make them feel uncomfortable I was okay with them saying no. They said...

We have been doing a lot of reading in the past 2 weeks. So far we have made it through Polysecure and are working on the work book from that. That is how the conversations have been going, frequent breaks and trying to be understanding. I have tried to setup romantic dates and each time I have...

One other thing that has developed in this situation is them bringing up that they feel like they want to just start dating before we even get through the agreements, to "make me feel like I made them feel." I think that idea is stupidly vindictive and really isn't going to make me feel like...

This has been my first poly relationship, but the idea of it felt right for the views that I hold. I don't like the idea of marriage. It feels like needing to put restrictions in place because you don't want the other person to have feelings for anyone but you. Throughout the 9 years, I really...