Recent content by lisbeth

  1. L

    Not wanting to judge

    Hey Mono, when I was younger I had basically the above option of ALL straight men. :) I put a smiley there because now it makes me laugh, I don't feel that way anymore. I think there are definitely some men (and women!) who put their own sexual satisfaction above most anything else, including...
  2. L

    Difficulty with defining things

    HI DragonPie, Sorry, I'm kinda confused about what you mean by "queer community." Do you mean LGBT or something else? I'm lesbian and it's pretty common in my local LGBT community for people to be in open relationships, or be single and dating multiple people at the same time. If someone...
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    I didn't get very far...

    HI Moonglow, I recently went through the end of my first poly relationship, I was completely crushed and am still not able to focus at work (as evidence my the fact that I'm reading this message board during business hours, lol). I went to see a psychologist and am so glad that I did. It was...
  4. L

    non-sexual emotional connection

    I've also had the experience of feeling "used" when I become a part of someone's life, only to get dropped when they start a new relationship. It took me a long time to learn "nobody owes us anything in exchange for kindness" and I think that is a really important concept, one that I wish would...
  5. L

    non-sexual emotional connection

    RedPepper, I really feel what you are saying, I also thought that I could have a non-sexual partner, and it worked well for about a year. Then things started to deteriorate between us, and recently we did get sexually involved to a degree, not sure if it was a last ditch attempt to reconnect or...
  6. L

    New to this and dealing with jealousy

    HI Kat, I don't have any big suggestions for you, I'm pretty new at this too and I'm sure more experienced people here will have some good insights! I do have a question.... do you have any desire to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, in addition to the relationship with your husband? You...
  7. L

    Dating Married people

    Wait, is RedPepper posting on the "New to Polyamory" board? hmmm... I wouldn't have considered you a newbie. :) Also, I'm a little confused that you're asking for advice on dating a married woman... when you're a married woman... you know first hand what things generally work and don't...
  8. L

    emotional non-monogamy

    Good advice, I agree it's wise not to get complacent!
  9. L

    Breaking Up

    I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. You mentioned that your GF stopped working.... just earlier this evening I had dinner with a bunch of friends, and one of them had been laid off today... I think think this crummy economy is putting added stress on everyone, especially relationships...
  10. L

    I'm so very happy. Is this normal?

    Hi noob, Yeah, that sounds like New Relationship Energy. In fact, the concept of NRE is probably the most important thing I've learned so far in reading about polyamory, I hope this term comes into usage more widely, because, to me, it's so much more descriptive than "being in love" or...
  11. L

    emotional non-monogamy

    After lurking for a while, I'm finally getting the courage to post here, look at me! I'm very lucky to have found a life-partner who I've been with for several years. :) We're monogamous, although don't fit the mold of a "traditional" married couple, first because we're both female and...
  12. L

    Please help-- feeling so insecure

    Younger is not always better! Just wait until you're 30, then you will be seriously hot. Thirty-something women rock. ;)
  13. L

    Children and Polyamory: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    I just wanted to say this thread is interesting, even to someone who doesn't have kids. Thanks for a thought-provoking question, as sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with children when I'm trying to accommodate family or friends who don't share my values on love/sex/relationships. Sadly, the...
  14. L

    Time

    I try to minimize the time I spend on boring-but-necessary stuff, in order to maximize the time I have to waste... oops, I mean spend, :) on fun-and-interesting stuff.
  15. L

    just trying to get some honest input

    hey Confidence, If your choice of lovers/partners is the only area where he tries to interfere in your decisions, then I think there still is hope to come to an agreement/understanding that works for both of you, by building on those areas of your relationship where he's able to trust you more...
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