Recent content by Lostbasil

Every single day. He treats me like gold.

Thank you. I have never seen him unhappy about anything. And he's never said anything to that point that he would miss me or anything. So I still have my doubts. I do idolize his stoic nature. I am the absolute complete opposite.

Well, he's actually told me this. If I felt I wanted to leave him, he said he would understand.

I just started counseling. Boy do I ever need it.

I am going through a divorce. It was an abusive marriage. He helped me find the strength to get away. I feel very dependent on him. He knows this as well. I'm completely insecure.

Here's the problem. If we weren't together, I would not be ok. He would be, but I would not. I know this. That's a painful fact.

No, that's not my reasoning at all. I don't want to exit. I really don't know why I'm bothering to date others. Seems like I should try to see what poly is like. But my heart is his. So it's been futile.

I am trying to find another partner. But I am just not really interested. My heart is always with him. So I'm trying to force myself to date and get out there. It's miserable.

The problem, and I think this is a big problem, is that I want to be on that pedestal. And sometimes he makes me feel that way, and that is when I am most content.

The thing is, when he uses this type of language to express his feelings for me, it makes me feel reassured and happy.

I have asked him in the past that I don't want to hear about his other relationships. This is definitely a triggers thing. He respects that. Once in a while he says something, but I dont think he does it intentionally. Him telling me about his strong feelings for me is not triggery. But it does...

The feelings pop up when I think of him with another women. So I try not to think about it. That strategy is a huge failure. Thank you for the link. I appreciate it.

Yes, yes, yes. Exactly. Why?

What I need from me: to stop feeling so possessive and jealous. What I need from him: nothing more than he's already given and shown me.

I don't have to ask him. I know his reasons, but I still can't understand them. I'm jealous and possessive and I hate that I am. But I love him.