Recent content by monaural

Ariakas, no, not at all. I just meant to underscore how strong those societally-injected preconceptions can be before we take a hard look at them. These days I regard both sorts of relations equally, besides an iota of worry at the physically riskier nature of M-F sex. So far, in this new...

When I've felt such feelings, it seemed to stem from a knowledge of just how filthy and philandering men can be (due to being one). ;) Woman-on-woman action involving my partner felt less threatening both because the idea of it was (true to the stereotype) exciting to me, and because I had some...

Thanks for your viewpoints, all. This site (and it's lovely members) have been a tremendous help in my short progression. :) Even if this doesn't work out, I'll walk away having had a tremendous crash course in letting go of jealousy and possessiveness, along with this lovely love experience...

"Man, I hope my girlfriend and her boyfriend get over this beef." lol

Yes, it does! It just feels so strange to have my heart change like this, and not feel as though I'm pressing it to, or struggling to maintain equilibrium. I tend to wonder if it's real! :) Many smaller changes have taken me lots of therapy/soul-searching. Time will tell. For now I just need to...

This sounds like a strange thing to kvetch about, I know, but I need to explore it. My poly girlfriend has another partner (male) and at least one female who she's physically close with (though more in a cuddle/makeout party kind of way). None of this bothers me, almost at all, besides an idle...

Well, I just came out with it last night, went through my concerns, my concept of her boy's concerns, and where our future lies- just fully went through the gamut of what worries and bothers me, and made what I want and need very clear. She responded really well and seemed happy to have some...

@ Redpepper - Thanks for this reminder. I think in my current (slightly wounded, somewhat at-sea) state, that sort of clarity and forthcomingness doesn't come naturally to me. I'll just be real and solution-oriented with her. I still wonder, sometimes, if this kind of political/interpersonal...

The only strategy I've been able to come up with that doesn't involve directly mentioning his behavior was thus: Asking her, "What is the nature of your relationship with your boyfriend? Are either of you more committed to polyamory/openness, or is it fairly equal? Does he express any pain or...

I've been involved in my first poly relationship for a few months now, and while things have been mostly sweetness and light, there are some troubling wrinkles appearing. When my girlfriend and I started seeing each other, she was in a lull/readjustment/possible breakup period with her poly...

Yeah, that's entirely true. I guess I'm still used to the old-world model of falling in love, getting more serious, perhaps cohabitating, onward and upward, that I've always existed in. Time will tell. In the meantime I'll just play it by ear and continue to refine my viewpoint on this relationship.

I've posted here a bit about my mono self dating a poly girl and my apprehensions thereof. The responses and reading up elsewhere on the site really helped turn my sense of jealousy and confusion around (thanks, peeps!) Last weekend, I went on a camping trip with lots of my friends, including...

Right on, monopepper! (I hope you don't mind being portmanteau'd.) I'm off to spend the weekend with the poly girl and her other boy, somewhat randomly, at an annual gathering of our friend circle. He and I were friends before this relationship started. He knows about us, and supports us 100%...

Given the challenging circumstances your husband may be heading for in the military, I think it's going to take a minor miracle for him to turn around and be ok with this right now. He's already going to be dealing with being away from you, and I'd worry this might make him feel even further...

@redpepper Thanks for your thoughts. This site has helped me quite a bit in my past few days of mulling things over. I think what was lost on me about polyamorists is that they truly are able to love more than one person, not just sleep with multiple people. When I feel a loving connection...