Recent content by MrL

Seems like there’s been a deep dive into asexuality. Although my wife does present some characteristics and traits of an asexual person we don’t think this is the case. We’ve had some very open productive conversations over the last week or so. It seems like we’ve connected in a way that we...

No I haven’t, but thanks for bringing this up. I’ve always felt she’s constantly “stressed” and doesn’t know how to ease up or take a breath. Having a glass of wine or having a smoke at the end of the day to unwind never happens. This coupled with busy life schedules and commitments seems to...

No. No exploring, nothing crazy. Which has been fine for me over the years. I would be completely ok getting a bit wild and adding some spice. Don’t think my SO would. Regular sex is something she never thinks about so all that other stuff seems so far out of reach.

Thanks for all the input up till now. This thread has seemed to morphed into many different topics. It’s all been helpful and I’m happy to read and respond. Hopefully its ok since isn’t not in the true nature of the site.

I need to look into the possibility of people developing into asexuality later in life. From what I’ve read it seems like people can just go along with the cultural norms and not really know why they feel a certain way. At some point they put two and two together and realize they are in fact...

I’m not sure the frequency is the issue. That number is most likely on a good month. I guess the issue seems to be more how she looks at sex and how our current situation makes me feel.

All aspects of my life, marriage and family are what Id always hoped for………expect for that one key thing. It’s amazing how much this one thing can negatively affect your mental and physical heath. Asexuality may explain everything here.

TinCup you sent me down another rabbit hole of research. Asexuality seems to describe my wife in many ways. Are you able to elaborate on how you navigated this in your life and relationship?

Bobbi, thank you. A lot of what you wrote resonated with me. Maybe the thing most is about how the WAY my marriage is now has to end. I agree fully. The end is not necessarily divorce but if there is an end in the current state it could lead to a new beginning. A new beginning that would...

On the rocks for probably a good 7+ years. Sex still happens, I’d estimate on average 2-3 times per month. Discovering the root cause? No, not even close. Usually when I bring up the subject it ends in an argument and nothing constructive happens. She feels like this is my only concern in...

Thanks Kevin. I do agree that she isn’t totally ok with this. I do need my wife. I need my wife to want me the way I want her. I just don’t know if it will ever get to where I want it to be. Last time she initiated sex I would guess was 10ish years ago. Interesting enough in one of the...

Thanks for the book recommendation, I’ll check it out. I know personally I could not be part of a truly open marriage. I’m still attracted to my wife and the thought of someone else being with her doesn’t sit well. I’d rather be divorced than in that scenario.

I do believe her but just need to exhaust all possibilities and have some time to process and evaluate things. Since she has suggested outsourcing sex I’ve gone down a bit of a rabbit hole on various topics (polygamy, ethical non-monogamy, sexless marriages, and most recently asexuality). From...

After searching the net for the term “outsourcing sex” and reading up on it I feel like this is more of an accurate representation of what was offered. There seems to be lots of the information available and real life scenarios in this specific topic. Maybe polyamory isn’t actually what my...

A lot of what you’ve stated I can relate to. Your list of things getting in the way of being fulfilled sexually/emotionally have multiple items that are current factors. I do agree that if the sex was outsourced then the relationship would simply get worse and inevitably lead to divorce. I...