Recent content by naturalblue

I posted a year ago that I thought my husband wanted to leave me because I found a message between him and his girlfriend that said he wanted to be her husband. A lot has happened since then. I was totally a chicken and never said anything to him about what I found (I know, rookie move). In...

Awesome, thank you.

Are you always a jerk? I thought this was supposed to be a community for understanding and advice, not snide comments and belittling. Considering your solution was to break up with my husband, I'm not sure how mine is any less adult. Right now I know that if I were to talk to her, I would not be...

Update It's very easy for some of you to say, "If he's in a toxic relationship, don't be in a relationship with him." But he's my husband, and I take that commitment very seriously, even if some of you apparently don't. I'm not going to divorce him because I don't like his girlfriend. That is...

Thank you all for your input. The reason I feel that my desire to not have her in my house might be unreasonable is that one of the things that they are working on is the discrepancy in the effort that each of them puts in to see the other. She lives an hour and a half away, and my husband does...

How to handle a toxic metamour My husband has been in a tumultuous relationship with his girlfriend, "Mary," for almost 2 years, the entire time we've been open. Mary was a friend of ours for a couple of years before they got together and is part of our large social group. Most of the time she...

Thanks! I tried to look around for an answer first, but there's just so much information on here it's easy to miss stuff.

Smell is extremely important. I have that issue with my husband's girlfriend. I like her. She's really into me. We've had a few threesomes. But while she doesn't smell bad, I just really don't like her scent, so I've stopped sleeping with the two of them. I know my husband is bummed. He was...

I've been feeling pretty confused about my relationships lately and I've found counseling to be helpful in the past. I know that not all therapists/counselors are familiar/accepting of a poly lifestyle though so I wondered how you go about finding one that is. I have been feeling less and less...

We are out to most of our friends, however we have not told our family. Most of our friends are either in poly relationships too or are poly-friendly so that was no issue. I'm pretty sure our families would disapprove though so it's just easier to keep it from them. I'm not ashamed of our...

Well, it seems that you are coming up against your breaking point, and who could blame you. I hope your session went well!

Hi, TN. I've been following your post for a while, but haven't spoken up until now. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I can't imagine how painful it is for you. This line, in particular, though is alarming to me. Not her job? As you said, "au contraire!" It absolutely IS her job as...

Those are very good suggestions, thank you very much!

Bit of background - Hubby and I have been together for almost 7 years, married for 1 and open for a year and a half. He has a girlfriend and has been with her the entire time we've been open. I have a boyfriend that I've been seeing for about 2 months. We had a problem earlier this year when I...

polyq4 - Yes I do think I have the right to veto her. He is MY husband. Not hers. Boundaries changed once before, they can change again. There was never anything in our agreement that said that this was permanent and I resent this idea in the poly community that once you open up, you no longer...