Recent content by nicothoe

With regards to my wife, I would say I am at a 1. We tend to get along fabulously, and rarely tire of each other's presence. With the GF, it is more of a 3-4. She sometimes talks about moving to another part of the country, although she is not making any plans. I suspect new opportunities and...

There was once a story about a group of female teachers, who went out together one night and partied. They snapped photos of themselves, and posted them to Facebook. Unfortunately, one parent upon seeing the photos was so outraged at their antics, and concerned that such photos may reach the...

I remember not so longer ago when overnight I went from being mono to poly, and was left wondering, "okay, now what?" Hmmmmm...perhaps it was a over a few days, or maybe weeks, but let's forget that, I am going for the dramatic! So anyway, while the wife now found herself with a boyfriend, all...

Whenever I talk about my relationships, I always count the two relationships I have with my kids, emphasizing that their need for me will be greater than that of any other person. The wife and I made the decision from the start to be open to our kids, that is, not to pretend we don't see...

Realizing you are poly, especially when you are already in a relationship and your SO doesn't take it well, is never a fun place to be. For that reason, I am glad to hear that Steve's reaction was not one of complete shock and despair. He offers a glimmer of hope that things can proceed with...

I would say talk to him about it. You'll never know what his feelings are on the matter until you do. While I have no experience or knowledge of swinger mentality, what harm can also considering poly do? It's not like you are already deep in the swinging lifestyle, and are suddenly changing the...

If J cannot handle the idea of polyamory, is he still willing to pursue a monogamous relationship with you, and if so, would you willing to forego having other relationships?

Hmmmm. Perhaps I am living in world different from everyone else. One were historically women were treated more harshly for adultery than men, where some women are forced to cover their entire body so as not to seduce men by their mere existence, were being sexually promiscuous is considered a...

There have been times in my three year journey into polyamory when my emotions don't conform to my thoughts and beliefs. My brain says, "Okay, we have thought this through, and this is how we are going to do things", and when the time comes, my emotions throw a tantrum and scream foul play...

I would argue that is really is just about sex. Forget the emotions, men simply don't like "their" women having sex with other men. We like to have a monopoly on sex.

Poly is just like being mono, but with more people. As far as romantic, that is more the expression of love. While I don't stop loving the women in my life, there may be days when I don't express it.

In answer to your initial question, sometimes there isn't a reason. It's not like you look at your life and say, "This piece is being unfilled" and then go looking for someone to fill it. People are much more complex and interesting than that. If you were to ask me, "what does you girlfriend...

Unfortunately, the wife doesn't have the power to prevent this from happening. One of the consequences of dating and falling in love again, is the risk of things ending badly. It's that whole better to have loved and lost mumbo-jumbo. Of course, this time around you have a loved one who is...

Well, I didn't say it didn't happen *smile* Speaking from my own experience, I fell in love with my girlfriend's room-mate long before we started having a regular physical relationship (which is only recently). My point was that you can be polyamorous and still enjoy casual sex, and that...

Let's be honest here, the vast majority of relationships start out with a large sexual component, which eventually gives way to love. There is no denying that sexual attraction, desire, lust are as much a part of a relationship as love and friendship, and therefore a part of polyamory. To me...