Recent content by nto

I'm not worried about emotions clouding decisions, I just really don't know how to deal with it, or what to do. I can tell her, "It's fine. Don't worry about it. Go ahead." I did that for about two months, trying my damndest to get over it fast. But really, I just end up depressed. The thoughts...

My partner Maria and I first became poly because she was more attracted to women as a rule, and she didn't know if she could deal with just being with a man for life. Fine, women, for whatever reason, don't make me jealous. No big deal. Fast forward about 4-5 years, she started feeling more...

It's not that I am afraid they will hurt her, although I obviously don't want that. If I seriously thought that they would hurt her, I'd say no on those grounds, and not feel bad, or at least not like I should try to do differently. Honestly, for whatever reason, when she tries to date a guy...

No, I haven't tried being there, mostly because I don't think I could. She talks about any guy she is thinking about dating, I start getting fist-clenching angry. I have no idea why. (Note: I don't mean just "crushing on." She can be interested, think they are cute, whatever. That doesn't...

She knows. I've told her I won't tell her to stop until I have to, but she knows mostly how I feel. She feels guilty, but feels like she needs to. She feels like it's part of her, and feels hurt because she tried so hard to be okay with me being with another woman. I'm trying, I really am. But...

I have no idea why. Women, I can be happy for her. I miss her when she's gone, but I'm not upset. But after about four years of polyamory, she's started developing a stronger interest in men, and I'm not doing well. Every time she even did something like dating a guy, e.g., trying to set up a...

I have talked to them about it. The problem I am running into as I think more about it (everyone's given me so much to think about), is that I am not allowing myself a choice. I know it bothers me some, in itself. But it's amplified by the fact that I have to tolerate it. I can't in all fairness...

Actually, until I saw the part about anxiety, I didn't realize that I feel a lot the same when I have an anxiety attack. It's panic, and the fact that I am backed into a corner. I have something bugging me, and I won't stop it, because I feel I'd be out of line. I don't throw other people's...

Any time I am competitive with other men, it's good natured. Playing games, I can laugh, and shake hands when I lose, no problems. At work it's pretty team-oriented, so nothing like that there. As for your other point, I do have anxiety issues. I can't have large groups in my home, for example...

I'm posting here because although I'm not new to polyamory, it's a new situation. I am a man with two female partners, both primarily interested in women, but with the occasional interest in men. I don't really feel jealous about women. I am happy for them that they found someone new they like...