Recent content by Openbiman

How truly great to be "in" a place where people are genuinely happy to hear something like "My wife met my boyfriend and it went really well!" rather than call out the Beat the Freaks Squad. :-) Thanks, all--truly. In the interests of both brevity and general privacy, I'll try to be succinct...

Quick update, with longer one to follow (if anyone's interested..... :-) ) It went really, really, well. Beyond what I had hoped for, actually, in terms of genuine warmth and connection.

:-) We'll try for one, yes. But can't remember if they're an option at the pace we're going--I don't think so. Both my wife and he have said they really couldn't care less about the protocols at that level; it's just my own nerves talking and focusing on such things, as I feel "responsible" for...

Thanks to you both! Still looking forward to it--it'll be a few more days, and I'll try to report back, hopefully with good feelings all around. My wife and I are joking about it today, while also acknowledging some potential awkwardness and nerves that could come into play on the day of. But...

Sorry to hear it didn't go well; it does sound like there were some awkward dynamics in play, maybe for all of you. So much of it depends on what everyone's expectations are about being poly in general, being involved with someone who is, and what the intent of the meeting was for. If you and...

No informed advice to offer, as I'm sort of on the other side of your exact situation right now: my wife will be meeting my most-significant outside partner next week, if plans come off. So I'm sort of able to channel what she's said she hopes for out of that meeting to you: She definitely...

So, after months of careful leading up to it and even some recent weeks of rough patches (really, mostly, rough-feeling patches on my part), my wife and my current most-serious outside partner ("The Boyfriend") are going to meet this coming week, if schedules hold up as planned. She and I will...

Self-quoting by way of posting a little update and another sincere "Thanks" to all those who replied to my original post here, a little over a week ago. Hearing from you, interacting with you, has been tremendously helpful, even if a little challenging in spots. So glad I found this place. Also...

Thanks--you weren't lecturing at all; I appreciate your sharing your perspective. Flying proudly, as best I can. :-)

*Squeeze gladly accepted and returned.* Thank you. I love the phrase "Respectability politics stink." In a few of those conversations, I've had to say, "I can only sign on to be a spokesperson for my life, no one else's." In fairness: there have, of course, been many people in the wider LGBTQ...

Thank you. And thanks especially for not presuming or "prescribing." And sincere congrats on having found such happiness in your lives--that's great to hear of. For us, for now, the Highlander Rule (hah!) is our comfort zone, and our agreement/covenant with each other as to how we will (seek)...

Thanks. I don't really dispute the wisdom of this at all. I know it to be true. At the same time, my language fails me: I need words to distinguish what I feel, have felt, and expect to feel for my wife from what I feel for this particular outside partner, or for future ones. "Love" covers them...

Thanks so much for this note. Good to "meet" another newbie to the forum! I appreciate your kind words, especially since I don't always feel very courageous, or pioneering. Yes, being bi, and in a mixed orientation marriage, and now in an open (but mostly privately-open) marriage seems to have...

Very worth noting, thank you. And I've been thinking these past days that if I were "merely" struggling with the change or potential loss of a close friendship that did not involve the sexual aspect, I'd expect--and would have--her 100% support and empathy without feeling guilty about asking for...

I can't thank you enough for the wisdom of this. I know it to be true. It's the same advice I would be giving others. It is so much harder to incorporate and embody and practice in oneself. I think I am still carrying "guilt" at being open, in some senses, from my background, from the cultural...