Recent content by pacificfords

It has been extremely interesting to learn so much from the things I have been reading on this site. I have actually been able to clarify that neither my husband or I are actually poly. It was just a word that someone used a few years ago and then I began using it, thinking I understood it. I...

I am still having trouble with all of this. She is exhausted, running after a child, taking care of her house, taking care of her husband and has little time for herself and her needs already. Now she needs to come up with creative ideas to make her husband want to be a part of a situation that...

Do you trust your boyfriend to tell you the truth? If he says they have reacted well, maybe you could give them a chance before you assume they are all close minded just because they are monogamous or because of where they live. I don't believe that lies are ever a solution to a problem...

It has been extremely beneficial to my marriage. I have always been incredibly adventurous in every aspect of my life. I didn't even know much about being poly when I got married, but we have always had an open relationship because it just felt natural to us. In the past few years, I have...

I think it is amazing that you have such an open attitude about all of this. I am glad you are taking your time to really think about it. I hope he respects your decision and doesn't try to pressure you. :) I hope you find some time for you, regardless. You need a chance to recharge!

I guess travel would be my #1 hobby. I love adventure and seeing new places or experiencing new things. Road trips are the best!! Writing is my passion. I love to read as well, but don't find as much time for it as I should. The internet is definitely a hobby for me. I spend quite a bit of...

This is so good!! I have a deep rooted belief that people who love and care about me will lie to me. It happened first with my abusive parents and with every relationship I have had. It baffles me because it is the opposite of what I want to attract. Honesty is so important to me, but I...

In theory, I would be so happy if my husband found another someone to love that loved him in return. I think, because it hasn't happened to him yet, he might not be able to really understand how he could feel that way for someone else, while being with me. It is kind of difficult to explain to...

Welcome Joanne! :) I hope you enjoy exploring the site. I have found it amazingly helpful in the short time I have been here. I will admit that when we discussed the idea of him just meeting a woman for a sexual interaction, it did actually make me feel a little more relaxed about it. Then...

Thank you. :) We have used the term open-marriage for years. It has worked pretty well for us, I guess. It makes me realize that the label is definitely not as important as the dynamic of our blended lifestyles and our respect for one another's preferences. I have really enjoyed this...

A long conversation with my husband brought out something very interesting. I shared in a previous post that I was having some fears about him being in relationships. I was able to get to a point of realizing that it is a trust issue and I think that is honestly something we can work on over...

Thanks! :)

Yes, he still defaults to the avoidant mode when feeling totally overloaded, but I can usually see it and we can talk through it. I would say that when things are balanced, we are both pretty compromising, but when things are out of balance (or highly emotional) I am definitely competitive to...

That really blew me away. It is not a jealousy issue. Not at all. We have such a long history and part of that history is dealing with him lying to me. He lacks coping skills due to an extremely abusive childhood. In addition, he was diagnosed (unofficially) as an adult with autism. He...

I sat with that thought for a moment to see how it might feel and it made me very uncomfortable and nervous just thinking about it. However, it is forcing me to look past the jealousy issue and try to connect with what is really going on. I sure appreciate the questions and insights I am...