Recent content by PhilosophicallyLost

If your friend is a reader, I really recommend the Kushiel's Dart series. It deals really heavily into all the various forms of love.In fact, in the protagonist's country it is a religious commandment to "Love as thou wilt " The protagonist certainly does that.

Thanks for all your comments! This helped put some things into perspective. I really like to bounce ideas off like-minded folk such as yourselves. =) @Schrodingers: I do think for my husband he perceives it as him loving another gal would be unloving me somehow. I think he's accepted that...

In my husband and one of his close friends, I have encountered a sentiment of poly being essentially unfair. He's even told me that he doesn't wish to date a girl outside of me because he thinks it would be unfair to *me*. I found the statement strange, because I found it assumptive on what I...

I'm not sure if this will address your specific situation, but these are some of the conclusions I have come to: Just as we idolize many characters in stories we watch/read about, because we love their unique contribution to a story, we also can love a variety of personalities in real life...

I have not posted in quite some time. A lot of changes have occurred in the last six months. I was struggling pretty significantly in June, but coming to the end of the year I am finding many more things to feel hopeful about. Y and I bought a house and we have embarked on a new page in our...

Nycindie and BoringGuy: I understand you are trying to speak from experience in an effort to help, and I appreciate the words of caution. There is way more to the whole thing with my brother than meets the eye. I just feel that there's not enough evidence in my forty-some posts here for...

"Your brother checked himself into a psychiatric hospital because you are non-monogamous? BoringGuy: It's not that simple. My brother, due to a combination of events, felt I was abandoning him. He felt very threatened when I first started dating my husband six years ago, and I suspected it...

I normally associate effective therapy with building healthy relationship problem-solving skills and whatnot. Granted I am not looking forward to the first time or two because it means bringing up painful memories, and I am uncertain of how good the therapist is. More on that toward the end of...

Sometimes just looking at the threads on this forum helps me feel less freaky. Anyway, my husband and I have tried letting me be poly with his best friend for a year. In the last few months, things have settled finally, to a degree. My husband, Yorick's anxiety spells are greatly reduced...

You probably feel a lot of guilt over Jayden being as distraught as he is. I unfortunately can empathize with that feeling quite a bit too. He definitely is having some reactions of, "Why am I not enough by myself?" Even though you may not see it that way, it's a form of rejection to him. I'm...

But perhaps you can confirm this. I'm writing this with a headache, so I apologize if stuff is sorta fuzzy on the details. The living arrangements have become a major issue. Hubby doesn't like having E as a room mate anymore. The reasons are wide and varied: 1. E is overly talkative and can...

AnnabelMore: I can't agree more with the Jasmine line, but I'm not sure if my husband realizes I'm feeling that way. I might need to address this too when we talk. Sparklepop: I have been nine months with the boyfriend, in a mono/poly situation. If it helps for more background, my husband...

"You didn't look out for me when this started, now I have every right in the world to spoil your fun." He definitely would seem to feel this way about E. As far as me renegotiating the marriage with Y, he has judged my actions on that differently. Y told E, "K hurt me too, but I know by her...

Ugh. How to keep this succinct. I asked my husband early on in the poly thing if I could sleep the night with my boyfriend sometimes (just generic sleep). He said no, and it was still a fresh hurt to him so I didn't bring it up for several months. I waited until he and my boyfriend worked...

I probably will view this differently than my husband, but I have seen a HUGE shift in our time spent together since poly started. I used to work and go to school so lack of time with me was a norm. The time we spend now, in my opinion, is far more than it's been. He argues that we had all...