Recent content by polyciraptor

I don't think you're being unreasonable either in what you're asking from him. > The long distance: My partner is never in the same spot for very long. His work takes I'm to one city to the next for a few days at a time. So this isn't a domestic relationship and I know that it will never will...

My guess is that he feels restricted by his identity of being together with you, and he likes how this other lady makes him feel. He wants to keep him-with-you and him-with-her, separate. This is not entirely unusual. With each of my partners, I am slightly different, they bring out different...

I had a relationship where something similar happened. In hindsight, things that contributed were: - she has anxiety - I have anxiety - she has had a lot of dysfunctional relationships - I have had a lot of people drop out of my life and do not at all trust people will stick around unless they...

I've had this happen between me and my husband. I legit *do not care* what he did at work, unless he's angry or elated or depressed. Mostly, it's just work, he does a job I don't find engaging, and I do a job he would also find highly boring, but I find my job really rewarding and interesting...

I had quite some problems with some relationships over the last year or so. It was because for me the quality time, physical touch, and words are all important to me. And hey, I got NONE of them! :/ There were three very casual relationships, and they all believed it was a relationship they...

If you didn't have a child, N's requests would be sort-of reasonable. And it would be *very* reasonable for you to respond to them with "AHAHAHA FUCK NOOOO." Since you do have a child with J, the kid takes precedent. That's a human life. A romantic relationship is not as important as a human...

I know that feeling. I don't think it was deliberate on the other person's part, but they just didn't actively *want* to spend time with me. To the point that when we did spend time together, they would say "I missed you" and I would stare at them and either think they were lying to make me...

> If we include every relationship ever started--every 'relationship' that got past a few dates--you could maybe make a case for this. However, if we're comparing, say, marriage, vs poly relationships, at least 50% of marriages last decades, until death. A minuscule percent of poly relationships...

Bella, it sounds like you just want to swing, and can't be bothered with the realities of being poly. That's okay! But just because your experiences with it have been negative, doesn't mean that it isn't awesome for some other people. You know, like monogamy for some :) And I've seen really...

I came to poly via starting swinging when I was 19. Swinging was a lot of fun! Then I accidentally acquired a girlfriend. Then I accidentally acquired a boyfriend. Then my husband got a girlfriend too :) Eventually we decided we were poly, and that swinging wasn't really our thing. But...

An update: I spoke to him again yesterday, and told him that I couldn't give him more time, and that I thought we should break up. He was angry and sad, and he hung up on me a few minutes later. I feel bad, but I don't think that I did the wrong thing. I feel sad, and that I lost a friend...

So, I spoke with him yesterday! It was tough, but it was a very positive conversation. A lot of the assumptions we had about each other turned out to be nonsense. He said that the sex with friends thing wasn't an ultimatum, but it was a thing that he knew he would have problems with, and he...

I second everyone saying that he's a grown-ass man, and either he cares enough about how you feel that he will *try*; or he doesn't. When I first moved in with my husband, I had never lived with anyone other than my family. I had never had that much stuff (and I got rid of a lot when I moved...

147 Thanks for all the replies! Over the last week, I was trying to get other people's opinions about what their "messy list" is, and what boundaries they have, in a sort of vaguely similar situation. And all kinds of things are reasonable restrictions, depending on the people involved. I'll...

Hi! New to this forum, not new to poly. I'm married and have been for several years, and have been for poly for over a decade. I have a long-distance boyfriend who I love, but is not okay with me having sex with his friends. I have had sex with one of his friends before - I did not know that...