Recent content by PolyInNJ

This makes total sense to me, and I know that you're right. She is the one who he has made his home with, and therefore by default, the large amount of his responsibility is going to be there. Thanks for the reality check... :) The way you have phrased it makes total sense. And intellectually...

Sorry - yes - I meant hours, not years. definitely a typo. I'm really not asking to always be someone's first focus. I know that's impossible. It's not always possible for me. When I am with someone, that person gets the whole of my focus. When I am with I., I am WITH him. When I am with W., I...

Krys, you are in my exact situation. I posted my own story before reading yours. Finding balance isn't easy. Getting involved with social groups and activities definitely helps, but I know how not easy it is not to be anyone's top priority, and this is the exact demon I am battling now.

Hi there. I'm a long time lurker, occasional poster, but I'm not sure if I have ever laid everything on the line like this and opened up with my situation. The reason I'm opening up now? Well, I don't know anyone else who is in the same situation that I'm in. Well, not exactly. I do know one...

My ex and I ended up splitting because of this very issue... but mostly because my ex is VERY mono and couldn't conceive of being in a relationship where there were other relationships allowed. We were married for 13 years when we decided to split, and our divorce was final last November (after...

Thanks. I appreciate the feedback. It can be really frustrating getting responses from folks like I described. Even after noting in my profile that I am not interested in booty calls I still get gems like that one... I've pretty much given up on actually meeting someone on the dating sites as...

I started posting for associated content - and my first article for submission was inspired by some of the more "choice" responses I've gotten to my profile on okcupid. While it's not completely about being Poly, the fact that i am definitely has a slant in the article. Check it out if you'd...

Been there. Done that. Never ever ever ever ever doing it again. It's way too freeing to be able to be on the up and up. Never allow yourself to be a dirty little secret.

I guess in a way I kind of qualify to be on this thread. I am in the process of an amicable divorce from my husband. We were together for 13 years, and have been separated for a little over a year. I have a boyfriend who lives 4 1/2 hours away from me that I only see once a month, though...

Totally off topic, but River, I LOVE the quote in your signature...

I know you've already come to your decision, but just needed to say this: Don't ever be anyone else's dirty little secret. Been there. done that. got the t-shirt. Not worth the demoralization to your self worth in the end. I finally ended things with him a few months ago and ahve never been happier.

I "came out" to my mother a few months back. I don't think she quite understands the complexity of it, or that my feelings for my BF are very real - but she's supportive. I think she's convinced it's a phase, though. Oh well. It is what it is.

I just read over your situation - and my mind is kind of boggled here. A bit of background so you can understand the viewpoint that I am coming from: I am fairly new to poly myself, but have known for the past few years that I was likely wired this way. A couple of points I wanted to bring up...

I am in a long distance situation right now, so I feel your pain. By the same token, I know that I am luckier than most, because I am "only" a four hour drive away, and do get to see my guy semi-regularly. I do not have a primary partner. He has a wonderful wife who has welcomed me as part of...

For me it was more of a gradual realization, culminating in a serious of events that ended my marriage, and has made me happier than I've ever been in my life.