Recent content by Polymonial

  1. Polymonial

    Frustrated with polyamory

    I need some insights from my fellow poly friends. I'm essentially trying to figure out if I need to separate/divorce with my wife, and I'm torn on it. Here's the back story: I've always been extremely monogamous. Once I met my wife-to-be, I didn't notice other women, even if they were flirting...
  2. Polymonial

    I'm a newbie - Hello from Southern California

    There's a poly pizza social tomorrow (Saturday November 5) with the "Loving More" meetup group, formerly known as Active Polyamory. It's located at Robano's Italian Pizza Kitchen (which is at 10057 Riverside Dr in North Hollywood, for those of you that are local but not yet part of the meetup...
  3. Polymonial

    Help! I'm struggling as my mono marriage of 20 years is turning poly

    Our one-year mark It's almost that time to get my one-year chip... I've been successfully poly for almost 12 months now. It was a wild ride in the beginning: opening up our marriage and transitioning from mono to poly. I had a number of emotional ups and downs, and I was completely innocent...
  4. Polymonial

    Triad situations I am curious about.. .a million questions

    For our V/triad, we're great when we're all living together, and it sucks when one or more of us are apart. But I know other poly groups that are the opposite: it works great for them in separate living arrangements, but they wouldn't want to all live under the same roof. It really depends on...
  5. Polymonial

    Triad situations I am curious about.. .a million questions

    For our tribe, yes. At least, I hope so, and if not, we'd talk about it. We're poly-fi, and consider everyone to be equals/primaries. We have assigned date nights, kids' nights, and family nights, so we all get time with each other. This actually works out extremely well, better than as just a...
  6. Polymonial

    Coming out to parents about new gf

    Coming out to parents I have a similar conundrum, but with additional complexity. I'm interested in someday having kids with an OSO, in addition to the kids I already have with my primary. So it's not just an issue of coming out as polyamorous to my parents, it's an issue of introducing my...
  7. Polymonial

    Help! I'm struggling as my mono marriage of 20 years is turning poly

    Status report It's been six months since we opened up our marriage, and over three months since my last post on this forum. I want to let everyone know how we're doing. WE'RE DOING GREAT! Don't get me wrong, we've definitely had some rocky times along the way, mostly due to me in my...
  8. Polymonial

    Help! I'm struggling as my mono marriage of 20 years is turning poly

    Thank you again, everyone, for your kind words. I agree. When I discussed that event with Bree and Anna, they were both surprised that it had had such an impact on me. I don't think they thought anything of it at the time. That said, I *did* tell Bree that I wanted her attention at the time...
  9. Polymonial

    Help! I'm struggling as my mono marriage of 20 years is turning poly

    I apologize if I got my terminology wrong. I've seen the word "triad" defined on the web as any form of three-person relationship, i.e., a triangle or a V. In any case, you are correct. Our relationship is strictly a V, not a triangle, with my wife as the fulcrum. That's a very good question...
  10. Polymonial

    Help! I'm struggling as my mono marriage of 20 years is turning poly

    A cowgirl and her mule I had a long talk with Anna over the weekend and cleared the air on a LOT of issues. I offered to let Bree and Anna start their own life together as a simple, mono couple (particularly since Anna is VERY mono herself), but she doesn't want that. She really wants me to...
  11. Polymonial

    Help! I'm struggling as my mono marriage of 20 years is turning poly

    As always, I want to thank all of you for your great replies. This is a wonderful group, and I am indebted to all of you and your support as I go through this journey. :love:
  12. Polymonial

    Help! I'm struggling as my mono marriage of 20 years is turning poly

    Riding the storm First, a question (forgive my ignorance, I'm still a newbie here): what are the meanings of the following terms: cowboy, cowgirl, and mule? My ideal would be for Claire to join us, forming an N. I could definitely love both my Bree and Claire, and I think we could all be happy...
  13. Polymonial

    Help! I'm struggling as my mono marriage of 20 years is turning poly

    Temptation, and our two-month poly anniversary It's now been two months since we formed our poly V-- me, my wife, Bree (the fulcrum), and her OSO/wife, Anna. The two of them were pining over each other for seven months prior, so it's a total of nine months in some sense, but the V itself was...
  14. Polymonial

    Help! I'm struggling as my mono marriage of 20 years is turning poly

    You are absolutely correct. I do see how wonderful a poly relationship is for Bree, and I want the same thing for myself. I've been in love with at least one other person during my marriage, but I would never have acted on it or even admitted it to anyone. Doing so would have been considered...
  15. Polymonial

    Loving and Understanding ... Part I

    Thank you for sharing your story with us, WaterWolf. I'm a new member on this group and just went through a somewhat similar experience, when my wife wanted to add another person to our marriage and turn our mono relationship into a poly vee. I felt hurt, betrayed, jealous, angry... all of the...
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