Recent content by Ragabash

I thought I'd mention that Tonberry does have the birth certificate, and has for a little while now, and the court date is set for September 9th. I'm sure she was itching to tell you all about it, but just forgot. Anyways, I'm going back to my honestly quite happy life of the last couple of...

Some hard-earned advice for those considering polyamory As someone who has recently had a mono-turned-poly relationship fall apart, I thought I'd give some advice to those people on, or just joining, the forum who are thinking about introducing polyamory to their existing relationship...

For those of you who have been keeping up with the events between Tonberry and I, I'm sure you'll understand why I'm going to be leaving the forum. I'll keep my account for PMs and such, but I honestly can't see coming back to post. Good-bye

Tonberry has asked for a separation. I think for now my journey into the poly world is over, it will be a long time before I'm ready to date again, even in the sadly unlikely event that she and I do work things out and stay together. It's been an interesting forum and I've learned a lot here...

This might turn out to be a long update... Tonberry is talking about leaving. I started my therapy earlier this month, as well as anti-depressants, she feels like she'll get in the way of my feeling better while not being able to deal with her problems as long as she's here in Canada. I've...

Sean, Tonberry's boyfriend, is out visiting for a few days and it's been a lot of fun. We've so far managed to lose in every possible method playing Pandemic (a board game I bought for myself as a Christmas gift), and it's hasn't really seemed strange or awkward to me. I've had a lot more time...

I occasionally use the old joke that I don't have insecurity issues, I have a subscription, but poly hasn't really changed my insecurities about relationships much. If anything it's actually helped, because in Tonberry I have a friend whose default response to me expressing interest in someone...

Lately I've been in somewhat of a strange mental place, I guess. It started out with J going on a date, and it looks like she and the guy have hit it off enough to go on a second date since. Tonberry has suggested that what I'm feeling might not be jealousy, as I've thought, but rather feeling...

I'm in a distance learning class, and it's not unusual for students to talk about a few elements of their personal lives, at least to some extent. Earlier this week this led me to discover just how much my personal paradigm has shifted... One of my fellow students was talking about how her...

It can be important to go back from time to time and reexamine the rules that you've set, although that's something much harder to do after they've been broken. For Tonberry and me, I try to remember the frame of mind that I was in when I proposed or agreed to any rule. When I was a lot more...

I have my first appointment with my therapist on, appropriately, the first. It seems a bit odd, in a way, to go to therapy when I am feeling a bit better, although that mostly applies to the depression. My anxiety problems are still very much present as evidenced by my panic attacks. In...

Over the last few days I've been feeling a little better about some things in my life, I think I'm finally starting to accept that J doesn't return my feelings and likely never will. It wasn't a process I could rush, as much as I might wish I could have. I still love her, I probably always...

One of my coworkers, who isn't in the know, was complaining about a girl at her husband's workplace that tries to flirt with him and asked me point blank "How would (Tonberry) react, honestly, if somebody started calling you 'babe' over the phone where she could hear it?" It took me a few...

I'm in kind of a weird mental place today. J has her first date with a guy she met through the dating service that she's really excited about, and I'm both happy for her and completely jealous at the same time. It's not the most pleasant feeling. I know in a situation like this jealous isn't...

As Tonberry and I mentioned in our blog, one of the advantages is that if someone doesn't feel the same about you as you do about them you can keep a place for them in your life without feeling like you're holding your life still on that hope.