Recent content by ramfish

*sigh* It's been two weeks since I've really seen J- ... it's kinda sucked. My personal issues with insecurity have had me worried about feeling detached. This always happens when I don't people I really care about very much. I get very apprehensive, especially with people I don't know really...

J- came over yesterday after work, which meant he came over at 6am. =p He slept here as best as he could (our cats refused to let us sleep). I thought we had a pretty good day, though it did seem a little short because he had to leave by 5 and we slept until 11. I was unreasonably crabby at the...

Lol I think it's cute the way he tries to downplay things. It's a very 'guy' thing. "Oh I got you something it's kinda a joke you know. haha" But it was sweet when he gave it to me he was like "oh um there are three because you have more love than just for one heart. You know the polyamory...

The holidays have pretty much eaten me alive, and it's been a looooong week. However J- and I finally got to meet up today briefly for a movie. We didn't get to do much more than sit next to each other since my brother is visiting this weekend. He did, however bring my Christmas present which...

Ok well my hubby is signed up on here now because these forums are private now, so ... I'm going to start calling him HP. Now back to your regularly scheduled Ramfish insanity. Wahhhhhh I freaked out yesterday because J- told me that we could hang out and then I couldn't get a hold of him. I...

Hmm....where do I even start? Last week was the last week of classes, so it was hectic. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep in favor of studying...but I think it was an all together productive week. J- was my partner for the oral exam we had today so we spend last night and this early afternoon...

I don't! Cell phone address book has made it so I only know immediate family numbers by heart! :p

This is most true. I'm really really getting the feeling that he isn't sure what he wants, which is why he's sending me mixed signals. This is not the first time I have expected more from someone who has no obligation to reciprocate regularly. It has a lot to do with the way it think, how my...

That was what I thought would be happening ... but I'm getting the feeling J- isn't sure what he wants to do. Mostly, I don't think he's had the chance to talk to this girl about what kind of relationship they're going to have (open vs exclusive) However, J- hasn't given me any indication that...

I'm still being dumb. I guess I can't expect myself to be able to instantly change the way I look at things and be able to just go with the flow while I've come to question a lot of the choices I've made from recently to the last few years. More and more I find that I love J- a lot, but...

Dear me: Girl, stop it. You keep being a stupid girl. Take things as they come and as they are, not as you think/are afraid they might be. Letting your mind invent problems for you is not helpful or healthy. So stop it. Love You

Thanks to some unfortunate circumstances, my poor J- was forced to move out of his apartment this past weekend. I can say it is sad, since it means no more convenient place to go and hang out off campus during the day, but it has its advantages. Now he has internet! (yay!) My husband was...

Wow. Great article.

Thanks, mono. This is just as hard as it was when we started talking about poly a year ago, which seems most like years ago now. My inner turmoil hurts must when it makes me look at the choices I made when I married my husband. I wonder why I really wanted it, if I did it because I really did...

I'm going to be going back to counseling next week to help deal with some the stress I've been experiencing. The personal issues and inter conflict I've been having because of J-kun has been greatly distracted me from being able to focus on my schoolwork...and next week is the last week of...