Recent content by RedPanda

This is one of those cases where I favor relationship anarchy; it's ultimately up to me and my partner to decide where our boundaries are. Each relationship is a unique thing. I like partitions. HOWEVER, while I won't dictate what other partners do with my metamours, there can be consequences...

I don't have much to add except this; I was seeing only one person for a while and despite the fact that she was married I didn't even feel very polyamorous. Some people have a very low poly number (or poly saturation?) and sometimes life just gets in the way or any number of things could be...

Re: OP Apparently I'm morally bankrupt because I've never had any ethical dilemmas in my secondary relationships. :confused:

Well it sounds like there are a few conflicts here. 1) Your husband sounds monogamous-minded and that he's accommodating your polyamorous disposition. 2) Your boyfriend is pressuring you to disrespect your husband's boundaries - very much not cool (although I completely understand where he's...

I have a question which should offer a counterpoint; would it be equally despicable if someone said they preferred to date someone who is completely physically one gender or the other? Pardon if this was already discussed. I've never had this sort of confrontation because most trans people I...

I haven't ever even made an attempt to watch it. Reality shows tend to select for people of average to below-average intelligence and maturity. I simply don't find most of that entertaining. I think most people would be disappointed by the daily activities of your average polyamorous person.

IMHO people who try and take potshots against poly are all jealous, sexually frustrated, socially trapped people who are bucking the constraints they feel more than they are attacking polyamory. America is largely sex-negative and we all suffer under the tyranny of the masses. These anti-poly...

I spoke with my metamour and he said the same thing; you really do not get responses if you talk about polyamory in your messages. That is, of course, unless someone explicitly states they are polyamorous in their profile (or you already know them).

The same could be said about opening up a marriage - opening a marriage should be done when not under the duress of a faltering relationship. My current relationship was predicated on both parties being polyamorous (I know this more common for young people today) and I really couldn't imagine...

Fit in?? Do you feel like you're getting alienated from your marriage? Why don't you try and find a boyfriend on the side. This isn't supposed to be a one-way compromise! You can ask him for a boundary - please don't text her while we are having "us time". This is a pretty reasonable boundary...

First and foremost, STOP COMING DOWN SO HARD ON YOURSELF. Everyone makes glorious fools of themselves when they are trying something new. With time and experience you will learn more about your definition of "asshole" as well as what other people think of "assholes". Don't worry about it...

I successfully "dated" a monogamous girl once. We met at the climbing gym and just started hanging out platonically. Eventually the idea of other partners came up and she was like "I'm engaged but I like you! I don't want to stop hanging out!" and I was like "Well, if you want to take this...

I see some of those arguments as status quo arguments. Bullies will often justify the suffering they cause, but anything which erodes their ability to cause suffering - or worse, things which make them have to endure suffering - is suddenly the biggest, worst thing in the world! I see the same...

Yes, I have seen some of that sort of behavior; It's just wrong and that's all there is too it! I've seen many more detractors of polyamory instinctively make the comparison between homosexuality (marriage equality) and ethical non-monogamy. One famous quote sums it perfectly: "If you give a...

:D This mostly sounds like a case of you can't fix stupid!