Recent content by Rootlet

Word. I totally agree, Opalescent. Seems like a lot of heterosexism and couple privilege in Si's girlfriend's behaviour and attitudes. "yeah, it was fun, but a relationship with a women isn't a 'real' relationship, and now that I have kids, I want to have all the mainstream approval associated...

I wonder if sex therapy might be helpful, to help the two of you communicate what you need to feel sexy, desired and in the mood across whatever cultural differences you have.

Hi AnotherConfused, You and I have a similar marriage, it seems, although I'm married to a woman. I've never cheated on her, but she is uninterested in sex and recently told me that I can be with other women too. I'm also insisting on talking with her about it, but she's probably most...

Wiccan, of the ecstatic rather than fertility type. [Wicca has one type that's very into heterosexual imagery being a central part of ritual and doctrine (fertility), and one that's not (ecstatic) and leaves room for people to practice their sexuality magic in whatever form works for them...

Hi Magdlyn, No, I haven't lost my sense of humour, fortunately... My wife started going menopause starting at about 43 and has been completely menopausal (no period) for a few years now, I forget how long. Just natural early menopause, which tends to hit harder, I've read. All I can say is...

Everyone I've told so far has been okay, and I'm certainly comfortable with backing up my decision to friends. I also would want to behave with integrity with anyone I was involved with, not just my wife, so yes, taking that person's needs and feelings into account is important, as is making...

Hi Moonmama, I would think of it in terms of personal integrity and an obligation to self-care, then, if you want to think in ethical terms. By participating in something that someone else will perceive as harm to them (even if you do not) then you are morally implicated in that harm. Consider...

Hi Opalescent, Again, my condolences on your breakup. It sucks when that happens. You probably already know this, but the hopelessness might be just the grief talking and will pass. I have a more than passing relationship with grief, and it has come to be a kind of friend - it seems to be the...

Hi Opalescent, Thanks for this. I agree with a lot of what you've said. Thanks for the warning about it bringing up our issues, I kind of expected that ;). I've been thinking that we need to make sure we put attention into the things that do work for both of us, and make sure those stay...

Hi there, Thanks folks for all the feedback and advice. The heart connection and love are important to me in my sexuality, and I think having a secondary love relationship would fit me where I'm at better than more casual hooking up or swinging. Having identified as bi at one point in my life...

I have a two candle love spell I borrowed from one of Z. Budapest's books, where you identify one candle as the person the spell is done on behalf of, and the other as the target person they wish to attract (Note: this is never, ever, a specific person, as that would interfere with that person's...

I agree with what others have said. You know that 'he's just not that into you' book? It looks like he's just not that into you, or more importantly, not into his daughter either, which is a tragedy. It's not about him dating other women, it's about providing you with partnership, love and...

I just wrote that subject line and thought to myself, "boy are you screwed!" (no pun intended). I'm a woman who has been with my wife for over a decade. My wife went through menopause about 5 years ago and lost her sex drive almost completely. I've been patient, she's gone on hormones, but...