Recent content by sc1975

Let me give you some advice from someone on the other side of the poly-bomb/poly hell stuff.. My wife came to me with something similar, though it was a lot more convoluted that what you describe. She had already entered into an emotional affair, and was wanting to extend that into a...

I'm a little bit too stubborn for that lol.. I don't give up on things easily, especially when they are amazing things that I value greatly.. Like my relationship with my wife. I'm also generally very patient and understanding/empathetic, so that helps with this kind of situation. I may not...

We do seem to want incompatible things... But I maintain hope in two things, really... One, her view of non-monogamy is so narrow, it could simply be justification for the affair. She says no, but also says that if she lets go of the guy then she'd probably never meet someone else because she...

Can you recommend any? Most of the ones I have found have steps for me, steps for her, etc. I've done the steps for me, but she is unwilling to do the steps for her. It is an emotional affair (affair of the heart,) but she is very much against labelling it such, saying that makes light of...

I really appreciate the advice, Anamikanon! And I'll be clear.. I"m not planning on divorce. It's the last resort, IMO, and both of us have clearly stated we really want to remain together. Our relationship is seen from the outside (ie: everyone we know,) as the be-all, end-all of how a...

It's kind of always been a thing, we've never learned how to fight properly. That is, she tries to shelf it and forget it, rather than talk it out after a fight. But anything, "serious," is generally something she shies away from, especially emotionally. Not always, but recently.

I really don't know.. I do know that from everything I've read and from everyone I've spoken to, honesty and openness are pretty much must-haves.. we have neither. In knowing how I feel about it? Probably not... I don't think I'm wired for it.. I've never been one to feel like I need more...

While I can't guarantee we could work things out, I do guarantee I would feel a lot better about it if we would talk things through. Generally the discussion goes something like me asking, and her saying she's too stressed to talk about it, ignoring it entirely, or simply saying there's no...

Thanks a ton, Kevin. I will.. And like I said, I maintain hope. A lot of it. Maybe that's me in denial, but who knows. I love my wife.. Like I really feel like nobody has loved another in the history of loves (I know, I know..) I want like hell for us to succeed.. I don't see anything...

Thank you, all, for your replies and sorry for my asshat move of not actually *checking* the forum to see if there were any replies. I apparently turned off notifications :/ As things stand right now, we don't really talk about it.. I get frustrated because she goes about life acting like...

Let me clarify a little bit.. She's torn about it as well. She wants her family to be happy.. she just says she has found this need that she never admitted to herself. Part of me thinks it's her way of justifying an affair, since when I ask to put the brakes on things until we figure things...

Thank you, and I realize we may be at an impasse. The communication areas is the biggest challenge... when one won't talk, and the other wants to do nothing but talk, it's a great challenge. To answer another poster, she said that she wishes she had told me she felt poly years ago, when we...

Thank you for the advice and perspective. I'm in a much more stable frame of mind, so a lot of those things are there as well. Sorry for the delay in responding.. I didn't get notifications and thought the boards were just not very active!

Thank you.. Yes, 4 kids, 2 from our marriage, and 2 that we finished adopting the night after the big argument. I'm at the, "figuring out where you are," stage right now.. Honestly I'm pretty much certain that any form of non-monogamy isn't for me, but we're trying to work through that. There...

Thank you, extremely helpful! And not to worry... I *never* apply emotion to anything written. People have a habit of projecting things depending on their moods, what they would mean, etc. There's a difference between harsh and to the point ;)