Recent content by sealace

"If you know you're deep, just go with it. Find an OSO you can deeply connect with. If you found a poly guy who didn't want it casual, wouldn't that be 'better' for you? To go with your nature, rather than against it?" you're right, november rain. my problem has just been the ones I am...

"As far as attachment goes, that is something different. That is all about expectations and hopes for something more. I think if people have their eyes open, they can feel the fondness and affection without letting themselves get attached and needy. But it takes a certain discipline not to get...

thanks, bookbug. wise words.

I am not any good at casual sex! I am afraid of my feelings/attachments growing stronger if my partner's do not, and then feeling very let down and hurt as a result. Guess most of the men I've come across in poly/open 'ships seem to want casual on the side.

Hi all, I've written a couple of times about my ventures into secondary dating (for want of better term). To refresh, I'm a a long-distance long-term relationship that we recently opened up after I moved to another state (temporarily, most likely) for work. My question is this: It seems like...

Well, are you a secret? Or does it just feel like that due to the parameters of your relationship just not being what you're used to? Honestly, it doesn't sound like a strange situation to me. It seems you do go out and do more together than just getting nekkid and fucking. But the silence in...

Hi folks, Been with primary for 8.5 years, the first 8 of which were mono. Open since June. In that time I've dived into the world of dating--I've dated single and poly men and women and had a variety of experiences. Over the summer I started dating 3 men and one woman. I wrote a while back...

Thanks all, for the generous replies! Your insights have been very much appreciated. My responses: Redpepper, I'm sorry to hear that. I can relate and it sounds very painful. Total rollercoaster for me, too, with this guy. And I realize so much of it has to do with my neediness and insecurity...

I have a primary who lives in another state. I have been (openly) seeing other people, both monoamorous and polyamorous, for the last few months. There are four people I've seen somewhat regularly since summer, though in the last couple of months they've all faltered for one reason or another...

Thanks for the input. This is all great communication practice! Not stuff always commonly practiced in relationships, but very important and valuable. Many thanks.

This is good advice, the 50% thing. I admit we have crazy chemistry and I'd be just as guilty as he in wanting to get physical quickly, but the nice thing is we actually have a lot in common and I enjoy talking to him a lot, too. I actually had a conversation with him after my first post here...

Thanks, I.A., I found your post reassuring. Yeah, I am mostly dating people in open relationships right now, and I have found that once I really start to like them (it's only happened twice) then I do start feeling needy and freak out a bit. It's almost like I'm single since I'm not physically...

Hey all, thanks for the responses. Here's more info. The man I am seeing is poly and his wife knows he is seeing me, though she and I have never met. She also sees people. They've been together 9 years, married the last 2, and poly since January. He is 29. Why have I been losing sleep? I think...

Hi, I'm new here. I've been with a man for 8 years, and we've been long distance for the last few months. We've been in an open relationship for the last 2.5 months. I've recently started going out with a married man and my feelings are starting to make me feel like I'm in over my head because...