Recent content by Shannanigan

Passing through to post a little anniversary bump for my blog - it's been a year since I started being "out" as polyamorous and publicly blogging about it, and I've learned a lot, grown a lot, and changed a bit in the past 12 months. I hope my writing can help others on their journey, entertain...

I second GalaGirl's suggestion, and offer my experience in addition: it took perhaps a year of being "open" with my long-term boyfriend before he met a woman he was comfortable enough with, and who was comfortable enough with him and me, to date. In that time, I'd slept with three other men...

When I was in a long-term, heading-toward-marriage relationship, we were only out to our other partners for the first two years we opened up. In the third year, I began to open up to friends who didn't live in our city and who didn't have any connections to us to allow the word to spread around...

I had been in a relationship for four years, and for the first time found myself attracted to someone other than my boyfriend to the point of worrying I would cheat on him. I was still wildly in love with my boyfriend and had no desire to break up with him or lie to him, and I wasn't sure what...

I talk. It's hard sometimes, and might take some time for me to work up the courage to do it, but I've learned after enough times that it feels better after I've talked to my partners about it. I love love love seeing the people I love happy, including when they are being made happy by others...

How about a hierarchical vee in which the pre-existing couple's relationship isn't given priority, but in fact the newer one is, possibly due to distance or the children from the newer relationship or any number of things? I'm still with the man who was my "secondary" in a hierarchical vee two...

Yup. And perhaps she was hiding where she was when she disappeared because she was too scared then to admit what was going on, and it's great that she's now willing to admit it and all, but it's going to be up to you whether you're okay with this. People can and do have friends with benefits...

I was where you and your girlfriend are about five years ago, except I was in your girlfriend's shoes. I'd like to weigh in. Glad she was okay with that. I had the same rule with my SO when we started opening up, and it turned out to be an important one for us. She might be thinking that...

I remember reading about this culture a little in Sex at Dawn; it was nice to get more detailed information here. Also great to read the description as it being a "matriarchal society," as it is generally believed that no matriarchal societies exist, (Sex at Dawn suggests that the reality is...

I think there's a lot of good advice and observations in here; I especially like the comparison to your husband wanting to learn something new, like painting, that Tonberry offered. As for the more recent "wobble;" have you talked with either/both of them about what you are feeling about what...

If your fiance feels that marriage means monogamy, it might be a conversation worth really focusing on sooner rather than later. Especially if being open is something you're genuinely interested in and if you think you'll always regret not trying. Marriage means different things to different...

I think that there is something to be said in terms of there being "needs" to be reach happiness. My happiness and that of the people I love is extremely important to me, and I definitely need more than food, water, shelter, and sleep (I can go without TV) to do it, especially as a depressive...

Each individual, including yourself, will have to decide what is the best way to deal with their situation and feelings. That being said, I have found that I most often experience self-doubt when I watch movies and TV shows that promote the "monogamous ideal;" they really do present an...

It might be rare, but as some people mention, it will depend on your definition of "happily" married. Every relationship is different - I've found that I've had a much easier time enjoying my relationships for what they are in the moment as they develop rather than holding each person up to a...

I was fortunate in that my partner was very realistic, and we were very in love, and always had been very open and honest with each other. When I realized that I was having feelings that didn't mesh with a monogamous setup, I was able to talk to him with little hesitation. It was scary, and...