Recent content by SoCalDoc

I'm in a similar situation. My wife recently discovered she's bi and now has decided she wants a girlfriend. I feel strong "compersion" -- picturing her falling in love w another woman actually brings me intense pleasure and arousal. I'm not looking for a threesome. My pleasure comes from seeing...

Sorry for your painful disappointment. I disagree w some of Matt's take on the friend zone. It might be true that some guys want an open path to exclusivity, but many guys (myself included) would prefer a married woman in a stable relationship because that's the sort of woman who is unlikely to...

Oops, missed that. I'm new to poly so I could be wrong about this, but it seems unnecessary for an unattached person to wave a neon sign announcing "I'm poly" or making this a big topic on first dates. Don't most people (poly or not) date multiple partners until serious intentions arise...

Frank, just wondering..are you married or in a committed relationship? If so, how is your wife/SO handling this?

If your wife has submissive tendencies you should consider using this to your own advantage. Maybe you can be more dominant in your marriage. I wonder how she would respond to you trying some BDSM stuff. Don't ask for her permission, just do it like it's your nature and right. Maybe she just...

Of course you can choose to stay w the man you love, but thus far you've shared w us only his flaws, his selfishness and I would say even his mean spiritedness. For the sake of balance, can you truthfully describe any recent acts of loving kindness (from Charlie toward you)? Does he consistently...

Your husband's ballet analogy is badly flawed--I suppose one could accidentally drop a dance partner, but cheating and lying to one's spouse over the course of a year is hardly an "oops". It's hard to go along w your decision to remain in what appears to be a horribly pathologic relationship...

I mentioned that I'm not being pushy because for a while I was and I've realized how wrong that is, so I've backed off quite a bit. My frustration comes from knowing how much my wife yearns to experience intimacy w a woman, yet she is cautious and reluctant to proceed. But she has legitimate...

I feel sad for you. First of all, discovering a year-long affair w closest "friend" is devastating. For me (and I'm guessing many others) the marriage would be over right there. How can a person repair and rebuild trust, especially in a situation where the unfaithful spouse insists on continuing...

The drug from True Blood???

Just a quick update... My wife is still "trying on" the GF idea, mainly as a mental exercise, enjoying girl on girl porn, and discussing fantasies during sex. I'm enjoying this process but also feeling a bit frustrated/disappointed w lack of real "action", for example no real effort to find/date...

"But... why did you get married planning to 'share' your wife with other women? That's completely different?" I acknowledged that this may seem like a contradiction--perhaps it is. Few things... First of all, my wife just recently discovered that she's bi, so this wasn't part of the "plan" when...

In this context, the use of the term "property" is offensive to me. My concept of marriage includes the idea that each person gives up certain freedoms in exchange for mutual devotion and commitment. There is no unilateral control or authority--yuck! My wife is not a piece of property (yuck!)...

I'm new to this w more questions than answers. I had mentioned in another thread that my wife is bi, and I would enjoy it if she became romantically/sexually involved w another woman. But I would not accept/enjoy it if she wanted to be romantically/sexually involved w a man. This might seem like...

Good point. I apologize for being vulgar and/or unkind. I have poly tendencies myself, so I should be more compassionate. I just hope the OP thought this through carefully before sending his wife off on her love mission.