Recent content by Sparky

I just wanted to come back and thank this site for the advice and support in the past. Through the ups and downs, my wife and I have strengthened our relationship, identified jealousy triggers, tried a couple of relationships, and even developed compersion for each other.

My PTSD is limited to getting startled by thunder when I'm asleep and also now I dread the 4th of July because even though I know the sounds are fireworks, my heart starts racing and think about being over there. I definitely think it would be beneficial towards my self esteem issues which...

lol, counseling seems to be a commonly heard word around me right now. My wife thinks I should go because I have a touch of PTSD and no self-esteem. Maybe I should take it as a sign that I should find out about going.

Thank you for taking to time to try and help me with this. Hopefully one of these days it'll get through my thick skull and I'll feel ok with it all. I want to be able to be fully supportive of her and help make her as happy as I possibly can.

KC43: I don't consider her need to have other relationships to mean that she doesn't love me, but I do consider it to mean that she's not satisfied with me. I don't want to end up being the old boring husband that she comes home to out of obligation. I want to be the one that she wants to have...

KC43: You are correct about our mindsets being different and having trouble understanding each other. I have trouble understanding how she can need other people but still claim to love me and be satisfied with me and want to stay with me. She has trouble understanding why I don't want to do the...

Ideally, I would be enough for my wife. Next best thing would be a triad with her and another woman.

I was great at being by myself when I came back from overseas. Problem was, it was because I completely shut down emotionally and it almost cost me my marraige. I can deal with being alone if she's got something to do or hanging out with friends, but when I know she's out trying to meet other...

You're definitely not alone in your feelings and interpretations. My wife and I have been married 11 years and we still seem to have communication problems and problems with me being assertive. I've never been an assertive person in the bedroom, always assumed the woman didn't want it unless...

I have two kids myself and while I try not to compare them, I still constatnly feel like I'm not giving them enough/equal time and attention. My wife has used this comparision many times to illustrate how you can love more than one person at a time, but I still see it as an example of how having...

LovelyLady: It's nice to see I'm not the only one that feels this way. KC43: It makes sense that different people are going to offer you different things. Like you said though, at whatever moment, you are making a choice that you want one more than the other. Bookbug: I don't...

To me, yes. By making a choice between the two, I would be saying that the one I chose was more important, that's why I chose it.

I agree, it would feel much more natural with my wife and pretty much everything I do is better if she's involved. As far as what I mean by doing something "wrong", anything I would be doing with someone seperate would be taking away from doing the same with my wife. If I go on a date, why not...

I assume I could find love seperately, it would just take me a much longer time. I'm definitely the reacher in the relationship and she's the settler. I also have the boat anchor of being someone who's only had 1 sexual partner in my entire life, obviously my wife, whom I married when I was only...

Thank you for the reply. You're probably right about trying to have poly with monos being a hard sell, but where we live, I can't find any kind of poly anything so it seems the only choice is to try an introduce the idea to monos. I'm not nearly as worried about being replaced as much as I...