Recent content by stargazer23

This weekend, I spent time at a party/electronic music event and had planned on meeting one of my interests there. We've been texting like crazy for weeks now and it was finally a good chance to talk in a little more one-on-one way over drinks in a casual setting He showed up an hour or so...

Thank you! My adventure thus far has been filled with wobbliness and scrapes. Working on finding stability but I'm kinda alone over here with no idea how to ride this bike. Just working the pedals and doing my best. :)

Post-post-script: This whole thing turned bad. We basically had a conversation wherein he "mission creeped" the original cause of the breakup into something involving perceived manipulation on my part. I have never, ever done anything to warrant this. He is clearly making mountains out of...

I personally find the (occasional) "crimes" one commits in the spirit of need and self-gratification to be far less troublesome than the premeditated crimes one commits in the spirit of suspicion, mistrust, jealousy and sense of entitlement. In the first case, the involved parties can re-visit...

You're confusing instant gratification-type need with woundedness. Does the legalization and open sharing of recipes make candy stores obsolete?

I agree with this. Everyone is entitled to feel like a free and private human being, regardless of whether they have something to hide or not. Overthinker, I'm having a hard time empathizing with your being upset about the naughty video--that doesn't make it invalid, it's just that from my...

Me too. :)

Probably not. Poly is about love. Brothels are about instant gratification of fantasy and need.

I don't even try to differ between jealousy and envy. They're both just words that mean nearly the same thing. Except maybe envy is associated a little more with wanting something specific that another has, and jealousy is just a generalized dissatisfaction with the circumstances of someone else...

Female, straight, bi-curious, open-minded? The orientation thing seems more like a parameter than an actual accurate description of something. I have always had an attraction to females but I can count on both my hands the number of bona fide female encounters I've had in which I've felt...

This is about the best damned summation of things from my perspective that I've ever heard another person utter. The nice thing is that once I opened my mind to options outside of "pick one," I sloooowly began to see all aspects of poly as both relevant and possible for me. If "pick one"...

I think you need to start respecting your own orientation, and not place yourself in relationships that you know are impossible for you to maintain in the first place. I'm not criticizing: I'm at the tail-end of going through this myself. I knew deep-down when I married my soon-to-be ex the...

Yeah, I'm grateful for the 90%. I fully realize that that level of interest in one another's healing and well-being is fantastically rare. That's most likely why we were able to re-calibrate back to friends as easily as we did. :) No "breakup" is perfect. You're basically dealing with at least...

I have gone back and forth on this... To START: I want a primary partner with whom I can be in cahoots, best friends, a very intimate team in all things, whether it's work/business related, family-related, etc. I want us to have sexual adventures together, as well as separately. I want each of...

I have just been through my first poly/poly "breakup." I talked a little about it here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8772 This is SOOOO relevant to me right now. To sum: We'd been on and off for about three years but I didn't start feeling serious about him until about...