Recent content by swede123

1234567 you are absolutely right that no one else has a right to control how someone feels but the point I was making is that if we agreed something together I have a right to expect him to honour that agreement and if something needs to be discussed, I have a right not to be lied to. The point...

Agreed, it's like some sick validation that he's better/smarter than her and I. I got pulled into his circus for a long time because of my own need for validation. The one thing C has done without realising it is helping me to grow and be able to validate myself And understand that validation...

Galagirl, I'm inclined to agree with you. To me it's weird that the first place his mind would go is "if she knows who my friend is she will sabotage things." i have never objected to him seeing her. I have objected to the lies and the fact that I was being kept hidden from her like I am some...

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and for taking the time to reply. I asked for others' opinions because that is what I truly wanted, I wasn't looking for sympathy so I appreciate every opinion. It has definitely been a journey for me and I feel like I have grown a lot along the way. I have...

Hi 1234567, Thanks for your input, these are good points and well worth consideration. I agree that some things come down to insecurity but I have done a lot of soul searching throughout the last 2 years. For example, when I found out he was spending the night with her, I was upset but before...

vinsanity0 I would never contact her, but I do believe you're right. He's playing both of us. You are all right. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't respect the boundaries we agreed together, and that I have respected. If I can't trust him, I can't be with him.

SEASONEDPolyagain, I agree that it is a valid desire, but not without an upfront conversation as that would mean he wants to change the boundaries. That doesn't work for me and I need to be with someone forthright who respects me enough to let me make my own decisions about what works for me.

Thank you SEASONEDPolyAgain and GalaGirl. It is good to get some unbiased, impartial views on this. I was very disappointed in him when he told me that in the beginning he led her to believe he was in a monogamous relationship with her. It goes against the way I believe people deserve to be...

Hello, I have been with my partner for 4 years, first in a monogamous relationship but he was unfaithful after 18 months and we had a discussion about being in an open relationship. He said it was purely about sex and having the freedom to be in a purely sexual relationship with other people...