Recent content by tree166

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    birth control

    I would also be concerned about the complete disregard for a previously agreed upon safeguard, and the disregard of your feelings along with it. I don't blame you for getting emotional. It was really disrespectful of both of them. You've all done some sort of wrong in this situation and should...
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    Coming out

    I haven't come out to my family yet... partially because I'm currently only with one person, and partially because I'm a coward. At this point in my life I'm dealing with some pretty serious health issues and don't think I have the emotional strength to deal with that conversation too. Someday...
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    poly love unprotected

    In my experience poly people are even more careful about safe sex than monogamous people having one night stands. Probably because we have a lot more people's health to worry about. If I catch something, there's a line of other people who are at risk. I agree with nycindie - this is a problem...
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    Sharing the Holidays

    At this point we're in the closet more for our own comfort than everyone else's. My extended family especially is relentless, judgmental and hold utterly archaic views on basically everything. They've only just gotten over the fact that I'm sharing my life with someone of a different race, and...
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    Sharing the Holidays

    Holidays For those of you that only live with one of your partners, how do you handle holidays? I'm talking about the major ones, like Thanksgiving, Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus, birthdays, New Year's Eve, etc. My partner and I aren't out to our families (for moral/religious reasons) so it...
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    medical conditions

    I knew I had a medical condition long before meeting my current partner (who is likely to be my second spouse), but I was asymptomatic for most of my life. About a year ago, I started having symptoms that severely limited my ability to live a normal life and had to have brain surgery. It sucked...
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    Texting agreements

    Ok, I may have been exaggerating about the 10 seconds, but it's definitely been during the standard post-coital snuggle. If he's reaching for his phone before we've even cleaned up, I have an issue with it.
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    Not wanting to micromanage... but...

    Arabella I'm in complete agreement with you about dating a cheater not being kosher. Honestly the moral implications don't bother me as much as all of the other issues that go with it. Plus, sneaking around is really annoying. Back in the day, in my first ever poly relationship, I met a dude I...
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    Texting agreements

    My partner is one of those people who updates Facebook at the most inappropriate times and has no qualms about texting 10 seconds after sex. This is more of a general behavioral issue than a "don't text this specific person" issue. So when it gets out of hand while we're supposed to be spending...
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    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    I've had decent luck with OkCupid, just not lately. My most recent message, for your viewing pleasure: I LOVE YOU, UR HOT! LET'S PROCREATE HAHAHAHHA #YOLO
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    fluid bonding/bareback

    I am fluid bonded (I really hate that term) with my live-in partner. We use condoms with everyone else, every time, no exceptions. If we were in some sort of closed triad or quad we'd probably relax the policy, but until then we're extremely stringent about it.
  12. T

    I don't like my metamour :(

    I'm of the opinion that anyone that is actively, consciously disrespectful of me, my partner, our relationship or our home has no place in our lives. That goes for friends AND family. What this really boils down to is that if someone is a jerk, we call them on it and give them another chance...
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    I don't like my metamour :(

    That's what I think too, but I've been told by others in our local poly community that I didn't have a right to demand an end to the relationships. Knowing how much "control" to exercise in these situations has been a struggle.
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    I don't like my metamour :(

    I don't know that I've *hated* any of them, but extreme dislike is something I've experienced. My partner typically dates women who aren't terribly emotionally stable. I don't know if it's coincidence or what. At any rate, my dislike usually starts out with a nagging feeling in my gut, but I...
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    HPV and promiscuity

    Dan Savage also get routinely called out for his belief that incest is wrong and gross. He's gay so clearly he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
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