Recent content by UP8

I get limerent (get crushes) for people really easy and it is something I have to look out for. I like it. It makes me happy. It makes me easy to live with. My family likes it. The trouble is, I can suspend myself there for a really long time (months) and not take effective action. I'd believed...

I had a creative writing teacher in high school who said "The Specific is Terrific". So many of the articles I've read online about polyamory seem meaningful to me because they are full of specifics and personal details. On one level poly seems like common sense, but on another level it is so...

A lover has some expectation of privacy. They say "discreet" is a keyword for cheating mono, but I think everybody has information they want to protect. My wife and I talk about everything. I'm under no obligation to tell her anything, but if I didn't restrain myself I'd end up telling her...

My first girlfriend, R, started in college when I was a junior. I had a crush on her right away but she would up going out with another guy who started in the same year as me who was really cool and also became my friend. I think R had a very high libido and probably would have had sex with...

We homeschooled our son late in elementary school and struggled to find him all the experiences he needed to live with people and all the frustrations that come with that. He's an only and was missing the experience of having siblings: having somebody who is your equal, who can treat you...

One question we've asked in our family is "Is polyamory like Fight Club?" That is, it is something people are likely to misunderstand so you are better off not talking about it or being very careful how you talk about it. One issue is people whose opinions we care about but who aren't going...

I searched this government database for biomedical papers about polyamory and got this result https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=polyamory Research on the subject took off in 2014 and is growing. I see two big themes (1) Therapists and social workers need to be culturally sensitive to...

I've used many different online names, sometimes I even use my real name. Sometimes I use fictional characters that I like but that makes me get giddy and sometimes say thing I shouldn't say and it's gotten me (or my alter ego) in trouble. In online gaming I wanted to use names that stand...

Maybe 15 years ago, when I'd been married about 5 years and cohabitated about 5 years I was working for a failing web software consultancy and walked by an office where there was a pretty girl with dreadlocks who looked at me and smiled every time I walked by. I had never heard of polyamory...

I think the sexual incompatibility crept up on us. It's not unusual for women to lose interest in sex in committed relationships. I think guys will tolerate mediocre sex as long as they get sex but women won't. There are additional factors going on with my wife that made the trajectory much...

I was bullied as a child and felt sexually invisible in high school and feel wounds from that are still fresh in some ways. I see a lot of people who speak for the poly community who found relationships easy from the very beginning and that makes me feel not so welcome and has made me kind of...