Recent content by ViableAlternative

Condoms are not a 100% surefire protector against all that can ail ya. And some people in the single/dating-around world DO require testing of a new partner prior to sex. Let's ignore the (comparatively lesser) risks of oral sex. Herpes, HPV, and other complaints can pass between sexual...

Really? Not once? Then I guess I have to assume that you either didn't read my post, or you decided that the comment I made about how she has attributes that rub me the wrong way, just like everyone else on this planet, was somehow more important than the many comments I made about how I LIKE...

I am not posting on a polyamory message board seeking advice. Uhh, I never HAVE sought polyamory advice on message boards, actually (but am delighted to lurk and learn from others' experiences, and have an opportunity to grow from the advice they receive, even as they do!). Are you submitting...

And, just a thought, but I don't really think it's "freaking sad" to see people posting asking for help resolving an issue - even (or especially) if it's THEIR OWN issue with acceptance of someone in a partner's life. Also, just to be especially clear, I don't mean to be picking on you...

I've gotta agree here.... Bear in mind, mercury, that posts you find on a forum commonly used for seeking help or advice are often.... seeking help or advice. If, as someone with new or limited experience in fixing cars, you peruse a forum full of experienced automotive technicians, it's...

Just a tip.... NEVER say things you don't actually mean or intend. People tend to take things as they're stated, so if you state this, it is to be assumed that you are breaking up with Oh, and that Gf now has him all to herself. Unless this is your intent, don't state it. It seems to me from...

To be clear, I am do not mean random people I haven't met and don't know. The very few specific people that fall into that area for me are individuals who have committed a rape or sexual abuse against myself or a family member, and one person who is an actual danger to me. If a lover of mine...

I also am "anti veto". There are a few people in the world that, if a lover of mine chooses to date, would cause me to end the relationship with said lover. But they're pretty extreme cases, involving people who have committed abuses against me or my family or children. I feel that someone...

This deserves some serious emphasis. He sounds very immature, and possibly not capable of handling a serious relationship at this time in his life. You don't deserve to be lied to, or to have fights picked with you, just to make him feel better about himself. That's not love, that's bullying.

Other. At this point in my life, I will only fluid bond if the intended outcome is pregnancy, and I'm not exactly ready to have children in my life right now.

Just wanted to put some emphasis on that bit, because it's painfully true. As hard as it is to see someone hurt, bear in mind that it's a thousand times harder to be the one who's being hurt. Getting out isn't easy, and it can't be rushed by folks outside the abuse. That makes it even harder...

Wow, what a nightmare. I hope you're treating yourself kindly; you really need to cut yourself some slack. I see you taking a lot of blame in the way you've worded things, and not letting the other people involved own their own faults, mistakes, and mis-steps. Let go of the blame, you really...

Sounds like you could use a hug. I'm sorry that you're hurting. Bob was abusive to you, screaming at you and kicking you out at 3am like that, lying about his HIV status and knowingly exposing you to serious health risks without informing you. Some of what you said indicates what I'm about to...

You are NOT his. You are not his, you are not Alan's, you are not ANYONE's. You are YOURS. You choose to share yourself with Peter, but you aren't his. You're yours. Well, unless there's an M/s aspect to this in which you desire to subserviently be Peter's property. Then he can call you...

I think this view might be a bit misguided.... If the most basic definition of polyamory is "ethical nonmonogamy", then while honesty is pretty basic to being ethical, I don't see any way to figure in "not breaking relationships" as a "basic premise" of polyamory. I think I'm ethically...