Recent content by Vicarious

She is the one that suggested being poly, and that I look for a lover after we hadn't been intimate in a year. That included any sexual touch. She has come down on her medications to the lowest in many years, and part of her getting back her libido is that her anxiety and depression meds are...

You could be right, but I know from reading many posts and examples of mono couples opening up their marriages, that it is not like a light switch. It is a work in progress. As I am not feeling like I am naturally wired for poly, and my wife seems to be (and/or is exploring it), I'm not simply...

This is exactly what she understands. She is a hedonist (by her definition) and enjoys whatever time we have together and has no expectations of long term dating (though it could be like that, just no label on it). We don't 'date' as in go out to dinners, hang out, etc...I go over to her home...

Fair enough to analyze all this, but I am coming here to work through why I have my feelings I do, and get some guidance, possibly re-assurance that I am making some progress (or not), as poly is new to me. Definately not here to be consider homophobic. I'm extremely left wing, consider love and...

Just to clarify, my/our friend is completely aware of our situation, and the reason I started looking online for someone. She is also in multi-person relationships and enjoys our time together, and understands that my wife and I are working through some sexual intimacy issues. Not using her at...

By declaring I'm uncomfortable with her being with another man, I am being honest with my feelings. Not declaring it (leaving it inside) is a far bigger mistake to make. That makes for far more issues in a marriage when you don't share what you need to work on. She has insecurities with me and...

I am not restricting her. Where did you hear me say I've put some rule in place? I am struggling with it, but not at all telling her she's not allowed to. Not sure why you have an issue? Don't people come here all the time to sort out their feelings? Not to mention that I did say that I would...

That is a good question...We have some residual resentment and unresolved issues in our marriage. Mostly related to communication (which poly has helped us as it has forced us to talk a lot!!), and we both have feelings around the limited intimacy we had over the last few years. She felt...

No, she doesn't know if she identifies as bi-sexual, as she has had sex with women before, but has not been in a relationship with one before. She knows I am comfortable with her exploring that, but knows about my anxiety and fears with men. I haven't put any constraints on her, but have tried...

Yes, I know she could end up preferring women to men, but we have been together for years and I'm pretty certain that she'll still like sex with men(and most importantly me). To me it is more like the description of apples to apples versus apples to oranges. As I'm not a woman, whatever she gets...

Yes, I feel that her intimate connections with women can be unique and complementary to us. But that is not the feeling I get when we discuss her sexually exploring with men. I feel like I need some emotional connection with a woman to feel passion and express vunerablities. And yes, they are...

I've posted before I have had bouts of anxiety and fear around taking our existing monogamous relationship and opening it up. It all started when my wife and I had serious sexual intimacy issues related to communication, a fast and furious breeding time frame, a blended family, and some medical...

Except this thread came about after she posted looking for another woman. What of the adults making their own decisions based on open communication? Something like, "My husband and I are exploring polyamory, and I have some interest in women. I'd like to find a person as friends first, get some...

I can't speak for the OP, but my feeling around her situation is that her husband wanted to open up their monogamous relationship. She loves him and has struggled with her feelings around this new dynamic. She is asking why she is the one that needs to do all the emotional work to save their...

I still don't understand why people in the poly community have such an afflictation to almost 'shame' a person that questions their emotions around whether they can embrace polyamory. The OP has challenges with how her relationship with her husband is going. She has challenges with how hard it...