Recent content by Zanie

I've often had the same reaction myself. If I'm some completely self-sufficient island, why would I care about connecting with others, especially others who may not be as "whole" as I am myself? Actually, I have always parsed statements like "you must be whole unto yourself before you seek...

If there are two things that I have learned in my four years of exploring the poly dating world, it's that if you want to meet people to date you basically have two choices: 1. Go find people to hang out with, either by joining established social groups (poly or poly-inclined or whatever), or...

I could have phrased that better. People join the SCA for all kinds of reasons. Because they like to dress up in funny clothes and hang out with their friends. Because they are drawn to other people with "alternative" worldviews. Because they are deeply and passionately interested in...

Join the SCA . Or find a local sci-fi fan group. My therapist suggested, when I was expressing similar thoughts some time ago, that we should go to swing clubs, at least the kind where there is more of a social vibe, not to swing, per se, but to meet people in a similar mind-set. We would be...

I have two pieces of advice, fwiw. I was the one who opened the conversation about poly in our relationship, although there was no one else waiting "in the wings", so to speak, at the time. My first piece of advice is to bring up poly in the abstract first. Your husband may be more willing or...

Then IMO it would have been (at the very least) polite of her to have let you know ahead of time that he was going to be there and that she was going to potentially behave with him in a particular way. You're welcome. :)

Thunkybunny said: I'd just like to point out that it's very unclear here whether the "other guy" in question is indeed a "significant other". In my social group, it would not be unusual at all for that kind of behavior to be engaged in by two friends who were not necessarily involved with each...

Or your job... Speaking as someone who works at a small liberal arts college, the idea that I could be a role model for students who desperately need an alternative way of looking at the world than the rigid suburban model most of them grew up with vies with the reality that I don't have tenure...

IMO, different sizes make for different pleasurable experiences. Smaller sizes can make certain oral things easier or more fun. Speaking as an orally-fixated person, being able to fit it all in my mouth is very, very nice. :D

Repeating myself a little from the Personal Summary thingy, but... Hello, all, I'm Zanie. :o I'm married (25 years this summer). We've been poly (mostly theoretically poly) for four years or so. In that time I have had two short-lived relationships (less than six months each) and my husband...

Hello, all, I'm Zanie. Although I'm a little more "out" than is probably a truly good idea, I think I'll keep my real name to myself for now. I'm married (25 years this summer). We've been poly (mostly theoretically poly) for four years or so. In that time I have had two short-lived...