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I CANT sail into tortuga all by me onesies You CANT control or change who your partner is seeing, or change who she is You CAN refuse to be with this unhealthy individual, or talk to your partner. Ultimatums are not great, but you can ask your partner why they are willing to be with someone...

OP's husband here I wanted to say thanks to you all. Magpie's been feeling much more self-assured with your encouraging words!