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For me, if I'm not texting the person fairly frequently in those first few days, then it tends to lead to me losing my interest pretty quickly. I think this very much differs from person to person though, since some aren't texters, etc. If I don't message more frequently, I can also be...

How much dating did you do before you married your husband? Even if you did a fair amount, you were out of the dating game for years before opening up again. I think it's really common for people who open after being monogamous with someone for a long time to basically have to "re-learn" how...

I agree with everything Galagirl has said. The fact that your wife skipped town for a week to get away and expected you to manage her own relationship with someone who was so aggressive toward you is appalling and frankly, she owes you a serious apology and needs to recognize her own enabling...

In regards to situations where you're all out at an event and none of you is specifically on a date, then it's still worth having a discussion with J ahead of time and let him know what your expectations are. "Hey, I know this isn't a date for us, but since I don't get to see you all that...

That really sucks to have things go so far south with Laptop. But it sounds to me like he was basically using lies of omission as a way to avoid conflict so that he could get what he wanted without really having to take into account the needs of others. That's pretty shitty. This actually...

To me, a major make or break for whether mono/poly can work is whether the mono person is comfortable with having more time without being together with a partner. If you're the type of person that likes a lot of me-time, or you have an active social life that doesn't require your partner to be...

Things continue to chug along here. Sudo is diligently programming away during somewhat "normal business hours." And is trying to keep on a normal schedule. He's been excited about the new programming things he is learning along the way, but I can see his ADD brain getting hyperfocused...

Not to be too critical... but I just want to point out that while, yes, his behavior was probably passive-aggressive and definitely out of line (not excusing that at all), that you were ALSO being passive-aggressive by walking out without even saying anything to him. I mean, if he had done that...

Yeah.... I guess it's just periodic updates for me. I have so much to write, so many things going on. I can't possibly cover it all in 1 post. Healing from the devastation of the breakup with Mr. Hyde continues. In fact, I just today reached out for the first time to say "Hi" and see if I...

If you're already having your relationship dictated and controlled by a third party this early on, and the shared partner isn't pushing back and setting her own boundaries, then the husband has no incentive to do any of his own emotional work. I wouldn't count on him relaxing his rules down the...

I agree with the other poster. Of course, if you want to stay in a relationship with your husband for whatever reason, that is your right. But she likely said all of those hateful things because she was being told many terrible things by him. If your partner or a good friend told you all...

MsEmotional, reactions like this online are common. Every woman I know has experienced times where the moment they rejected a man, even if done so politely, they were immediately insulted, called derogatory names, etc. If you think you might keep pursuing people online, then you unfortunately...

Is it potentially selfish to put your sexual wants and needs before your husband's emotional needs? Sure. But does that make it wrong? Not really. Every person has their own wants and needs, but that doesn't guarantee that they'll line up. As you've pointed out, you LOVE your b/f, and being...

Sorry to hear that you're hurting and processing a breakup. I think part of being poly means accepting that when you are having some feelings about something, you can't just magically shut them off for other people. Sure, compartmentalization is great sometimes, but your partners know what...

OP, I'd just like to point out that by asking married people on a poly forum, how many of them opened their marriages and sucessfully transitioned to poly, you're going to get a VERY skewed answer, because the people who successfully opened are going to be the majority of the people still using...

H probably has been saying "Ivm sorry but I have to move because of wife's job" when what he needs to be doing is owning his own role in the decision and say "I'm sorry but wife and I are moving, which was something I've always disclosed as a possibility. I don't want to end our relationship...

I can't know for sure until I was in this situation.... but I *feel* like this would be a deal-breaker for me. Honesty is SUPER important to me, and participating in a cheating arrangement and enabling someone to be a liar is still horrible behavior to me. So sure, someone else's relationship...

Ah, then my suggestion would definitely be that both of you stop censoring yourselves and avoiding talking about your partners in front of them. In fact, purposefully find ways to bring it up. It's basically exposure therapy. But the less exposed they are, the easier it is for them to live in...

Aside from them worrying that you'll eventually leave Glasses and that you're ruining his marriage and family.... many people who don't understand polyamory at all just assume it's all about sex. So it's quite possible that they just don't like the idea of the kids being exposed to your "sexual...

It's common for people who have domestic parters to get a bit jealous/envious/annoyed that their metamour gets to have all the fun with the shared partner while they just get dealing with all the responsibilities. If you feel like your needs aren't getting met, then consider scheduleing a date...