Search results

Something I didn't think to ask before and I don't recall seeing.... Your partner took your call when he has his other partner there, but was she specifically in the same room nearby when you were talking? Or did he just say that she was there at the house and so you assumed that it meant she...

I think I understand what you're trying to explain about it feeling icky and not replacement. And while I'm afraid I don't have any great suggestions for HOW to go about this, would it be worth trying to focus on remembering that just because you feel a certain way about something, that it...

Sorry if this was already said and I just missed it.... but it sounds to me like you would benefit from trying to re-frame how you view a canceled date night. Once either of your cancels it, that is no longer *your* night (the collective as in you both). It's now each of you's individual free...

It doesn't sound to me like this has reached the point where this relationship is doomed and you should give up, but it definitely sounds like more boundary conversations are needed. Especially since he is a new hinge and is probably figuring things out (this is assuming that you're willing to...

A few thoughts: 1) I wouldn't attempt to start slapping a label like demi-sexual on yourself based on some feelings from just 1 experience with 1 person. If you were to date around and find a recurring pattern, sure, see if that fits a label and then go for it. But you're trying to put...

Thanks Atlantis. I agree that as much as Mr Hyde means to me.... a relationship where I always have to fear a veto just isn't something that is sustainable for me long term, and I'm better off without a meta like that. But fuck if it doesn't hurt so much. I did at least make sure that when we...

That's great to have found someone who is such a good match for you! Congrats! Adjusting to the reality of having a poly relationship can be quite different from accepting it in theory. Your growing pains are completely normal and, in fact, you sound like you're handling it VERY well just...

2.5 months later and Mr. Hyde and I finally had dinner and then sat at the National Mall last night and had a conversation of closure that took things from a break to just being over. I am devastated even though I have known for a long time that it would come to this. I feel immense pain and...

I say this as someone who just got vetoed after over 2 years with my parnter.... If Awpti isn't willing to confirm to you that if his wife ever pulled a veto, that he would refuse and tell her that if she can't be with him while he's with you then that's her choice and she can leave... if he's...

Sooo, I understand that you and Red have a long standing relationship, and Red now has this Mommy role with Blue... but if Blue truly is interested in the possibility of a future relationship with you, I don't really see how it's entirely appropriate for Red to be discussing (with Blue) Blue's...

It interesting to me that you have such a strong feeling about him having a sexual relationship or being sexually attracted to someone else, when it seems like you don't have this struggle with your NP. My NP is the same way in that he has an ongoing struggle when it comes to me dating and...

I can't recall, but since you've been with Ponytail, has he actually had a sexual relationship with anyone else yet? I know he's dated a bit here and there, but I don't recall if anything has gotten to the point of him actually having sex and lasted. I ask this because sometimes our brains do...

While there is often a way to healthily negotiate boundaries, that doesn't actually mean that all healthy boundaries result in a mutually agreeable solution. While I realize that you ultimately suggested giving up your dynamic in order to be fair even though it wasn't what you wanted, I...

Wow, see, I have never actually paid attention to the people who are behind shows and had no idea about the link between Invader Zim and JTHM. But it makes sense now and I loved that show as well. In fact, I have an Invader Zim blanket that I keep at work for when I'm cold! I miss the days of...

I loved the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac comics years ago!

I personally have a few of my own boundaries to help me screen out those that can't handle poly. I won't date anyone who is part of a recently openening up couple. Basically, if they already had a monogamous relationship and now they're just figuring out poly, hell no. Ask me out after you've...

Forget figuring out rules and boundaries, this person just put your health at risk by having unprotected sex on a first date with someone and then not telling you about it. Based on the context of your post it sounds like your partner wouldn't have told you had you not found the video, which...

I would compare my situation to being more like in Ponytail's place... But not quite. So I was "single" though I was poly and dating other people but I just don't really talk a ton about my dating life. So I presented my partner to my mother, brother, etc as the person that I was dating, but...

If it's helpful... I actually waited until my family had met my partner a few times before coming out and letting them know that we are poly and that he was married. I did it because I wanted them to like him first and make it harder for them to make stupid assumptions like "he's just using you...

Wow. That's a LOT to have to go through. I don't really have a similar story to share, but I would say that it sounds like you both need some time to process and heal before you're likely to feel comfortable dating again. There's nothing wrong with that and it doesn't make you no longer poly...