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  1. L

    I think I screwed up my first Poly relationship

    Not an immediate deal-breaker, perhaps, but it'd definitely give me pause for thought as well. You said your OSO was already dubious about the nature of your agreements with you wife, going in, and now you backed out and left her at a very emotional/vulnerable moment because you haven't...
  2. L

    Poly Feeling Trapped in Monogamous Relationship; Looking for Advice

    Firstly, in your husband's defence... you must admit he has dealt with a lot already, over the years, in terms of multiple infidelities, secret relationships and so forth... and has so far taken you back each time. So clearly he loves you deeply. Not sure if his issues with jealousy and...
  3. L

    Questioning a partner’s decision

    MsEmotional, this topic (highlighted) came up in a thread someone else posted here not so long ago about his wife's (ostensible) fear of catching something if he engaged in kissing his other partner, and I questioned the meta's motives then, just as Vinsanity did in your situation, above...
  4. L

    looking for feedback on strategies for managing jealousy as a mono person

    First of all, I should preface my answer by stating that I am the poly one in my closed V. My two partners aren't involved with anyone else besides me, although they used to be FWB with each other and the three of us have played with the idea of becoming a triad in the past... therefore most...
  5. L

    Negligence or Boundary Pushing?

    I agree that it sounds as if he was acting out in a passive-aggressive, possessive fashion... AND that he was pretty conscious of his own actions, drunk/high or not. I also agree that if it turns out to be a "one off", it's probably fine to put it behind you, since you say you've been very...
  6. L

    What to Do When a Request is Ignored?

    Personally, I think the party analogy is a good one. I just have two things to say about the above highlighted quotes: "Actions speak louder than words"... AND... "You teach people how to treat you". Sure, anybody can claim they're your "best friend" but if the person doesn't really ACT like...
  7. L

    Questioning a partner’s decision

    Sure, he is under no obligation to tell you anything. Perhaps he simply doesn't have PIV sex with FWB/play partners, deeming it "too intimate", or perhaps he thinks that act should be reserved for your actual "partners" (Glasses and Ponytail). Perhaps he is concerned about pregnancy as you...
  8. L

    Being monogamous in a poly relationship

    I was almost totally monogamous for around 30 years. Two years ago, while in a mono LDR with my boyfriend Jester, I discovered I had feelings for a mutual friend of ours, Boho, who became my girlfriend. So now I'm the hinge in a poly "V", where both my partners are monogamous to me. Neither...
  9. L

    Negligence or Boundary Pushing?

    Maybe I'm being Captain Obvious here, but why not just ASK George what he was playing at, now that you're out of that situation and presumably everybody has calmed down and is acting normally again?
  10. L

    Stop The Vinsanity...

    Vince, I'm sorry to hear about Mary's sudden about-face. I can understand your bewilderment. (I didn't realise you guys were strictly platonic though.) Sounds like you have a lot going on right now. I feel for you.
  11. L

    The Accidental Polyamorist

    Mags, yes, Boho has just had a lumpectomy thus far, plus lymph node removal. But she will undergo radiation in a few weeks, when she's completely healed from the surgery. She has an appointment with the surgeon this Friday and will find out then whether or not there is anything affecting the...
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    The Accidental Polyamorist

    Thanks, Jayla. She's recovering well from the initial surgery and has already gone back to work. I'm so sorry to hear that about your mother in law. It certainly does pay to get on top of these things early. Boho is on a bit of a crusade to get other women to keep up to date with their...
  13. L

    Friends, Friendship (Platonic)

    I'd also noticed this. I commend you for bringing the topic up. It isn't any more challenging for me to make platonic friends these days than it was when I was younger. I've always been more of a loner type; relying on two or three really close friends rather than a host of acquaintances...
  14. L

    New poly questions

    Hi, Likeapanda. You're young and currently single (correct?)... therefore the first thing I'd say here is: it's really important to get to know YOURSELF and figure out what YOU personally enjoy and what you want from life and from relationships. If you're not completely sure you're...
  15. L

    Possible Poly Book

    DWF50 - It sounds like an interesting read, however I'm not sure why you ask if anyone here would be interested in talking about the subject in the book, if it's already available for sale?
  16. L

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    Ah, that sucks man - both what happened with BH and SB and your anxiety. (Another anxiety sufferer here...) I'd want to get to the bottom of it and would probably ask BH privately what the deal is, but that is totally your call. I hope you feel better soon.
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    The Accidental Polyamorist

    Boho had surgery earlier today to remove the tumour in her breast, and seems to be doing okay. She's a little woozy but in a positive frame of mind about the whole thing. I'm supporting her as best I can from a distance of a few thousand miles, though obviously it's difficult knowing she is...
  18. L

    In love with my female friend and also attracted to her husband

    I agree with Kevin that the affectionate gestures from the husband MAY indicate some degree of attraction. That, in addition to the fact that your new love and her husband have actually practised non-monogamy/open in the past, seems to be a good indicator that neither of them would be TOO...
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    Boundaries Agreements and Safety

    While theoretically you COULD catch and/or pass on an STI via kissing - in particular HSV - it is unlikely unless the other person is has an active lesion and/or you ALSO have close, intimate contact with another person, such as your existing partner, within a short time frame. Unless you're...
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    How to overcome insecurities

    I think Tinwen has great advice, Dreammy. Contrary to popular belief, people who are intellectually "on board" with polyamory can, and often DO, feel negative emotions (such as jealousy, insecurity, even resentment and anger) when they have to face the fact of a partner's experiences with...
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