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As I mentioned in response to your blog post on this topic, it's possible that you are used to, and more comfortable, when you derive a certain amount/type of "power" from your intimate relationships with men. From what I've gleaned about you, MsEmotional, you tend to be more dominant and...

I realise this is your blog and your question was more of the rhetorical variety. However, could it be that you are a natural "Domme". You enjoy the power you have over men when they're in love with you; whether it's Glasses, Ponytail or your previous FWBs. It's not that you want Laptop to...

Well, I got back into town yesterday after attending the wedding of good friends who live in another city - just in time to rush my daughter's dog to the vet. The poor little thing had an extreme allergic reaction to her annual vaccine booster and needed treatment with anti-histamines. They...

Hi, Echo, and welcome. You and your husband are both brand new to polyamory, so it's to be expected that there will be some nerves, some insecurity and even jealousy. You will all make mistakes along the way, so it's in your best interests to read and research as much as you possibly can in...

Exactly. This has been my experience as well. Despite being in a "normal" hetero marriage for a quarter century, most people in my orbit have always perceived me as a bit of a weirdo/eccentric. I look different, am a loner, and have never really behaved in an expected fashion. After I...

Fair enough, re: wanting to know how others handle similar situations. But please know, your meta's behaviour is NOT normal, nor is the incredibly difficult situation Awpti puts you in by soft-pedalling his response to her fairly regular about-faces. Having followed your story, I don't...

MajorMerrick, don't you think this is because, by your own admission, you're way more attracted to women/basically lesbian, with the exception of Ares, who's the only man you've ever been attracted to? Men are more than just dicks, what they can do with their dicks, how long their erections can...

I'd always heard of and understood the concepts of swinging/key parties, threesomes/group sex, Mormon "sister wives"/polygamy and the like. But it's funny, years before I truly understood how diverse "polyamory" could be, I guess I imagined it was more akin to two sets of (usually white...

Honestly? It sounds like a bunch of "projection" to me. The doubts you're casting on your wife's honesty... your fear that she may be hiding things from you, such as developing "real" feelings for this new guy (not just the odd white lie or text message)... the fear of the hammer finally...

I'm not sure what advice I can offer you, MsEmotional, or if I have anything of value to add... I just wanted to assure you you're not alone in your feelings. I myself have two partners, both of whom are essentially monogamous with me by choice. Over the last year or so, I've developed...

H sounds very needy, insecure, even immature. She may very well be jealous and resentful of your involvement with R, and is just biding her time until you disappear off the scene and she can have him all to herself. However... there are other possibilities. Since you say she is fine with you...

Do you consider your "third" to be in a relationship with both your girlfriend AND yourself? (I assume so, since you refer to her as your third, although you do not call her your girlfriend/gf2). More importantly, do you think this other girl classifies what you and she have as a relationship...

I'd prefer to know, insofar as anyone can really know they've been exposed to either strain, or have it. One of my partners has HSV-1 and I avoided contact with him during the time he had an active lesion - but it's my understanding that even avoiding kissing/sex during those times doesn't...

Yes, polyamory or even the potential to enter into a poly relationship, does tend to bring old wounds and issues to the surface. It was that way with me last year, when myself and my partners attempted to develop a "triad" type of relationship. Due to my own past issues - my first boyfriend...

They actually CALL you their unicorn?? That is a very loaded word amongst experienced polyamorists, and not altogether complimentary. To be brutally honest, it IS possible both your partners, or perhaps girlfriend alone, view your involvement as little more than a "fun" addition to "their" sex...

This is such a semantic argument. To all of the above, I'd say: Being "polyamorous" or "monoamorous" may be similar to sexual orientation, in that a person may be more inclined to one or the other. (i.e. Some people have the ability to be "in love with" / love romantically, more than one...

Some great, very practical advice there, playfulgirl. My partners and I also tried to do the triad thing... it didn't take. Our "V" has actually transitioned in and out of a few different relationship shapes over the course of 3+ years, until we found what best suited all concerned. Boho and...

This is pretty much where my partners stand. They're monogamous with me... but see no problem in occasionally "playing" with each other with me, or potentially without my involvement. However, they're not "in" a relationship with each other, nor do either of them have any great desire to date...

Ah, yes... propinquity! This is what I was trying to get at above (both things) though for the life of me I couldn't recall the exact terminology, Ravenscroft.

We see this situation a lot with triads, especially the kind that involve someone joining an established couple and trying to date both of them. It's extremely difficult, if not completely unrealistic, to expect that the feelings and dynamics between all three dyads involved will always be...