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  1. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    Hi Shaya ! When I say 'flirt' it's really just a game, with people who know me, and with no consequences. I'd say I enjoy playing a 'flirty role', say bold things while looking straight into someone's eyes. In my way of seeing it, it's a game that's not supposed to create any bond between me...
  2. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    That's easier said than done, but I hope with time and patience (...and courage) I'll be able to show my true self to the people that matter to me :)
  3. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    Here are some detailed thoughts I've had. I hope you'll react on them, it really helps me see clearer ! What I want in the future (and what I hope I can construct with Be) : - I want to be able to talk to my partner about my crushes when one comes. It doesn't have to evolve into a real...
  4. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    I have made some progress in my thinking, so I thought I might as well keep you updated. This may or may not be connected to the fact that I can't focus on my reading right now and that I am obsessed with my new thoughts... ^_^ A lot happened since the last time I posted. Regarding my physical...
  5. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    I've finally started feeling better...! Hello everyone! I think I have made some great improvements since I last posted. I think my brain mixed everything I've been told, from this forum, my therapist, my friends... And I had an 'eurêka' moment two days ago. I haven't had the opportunity to...
  6. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    I agree with you in a way, and I have to say the only reason I've been depressed and anxious recently is that I can't talk for now, I can't be myself, because I fear I could potentially destroy my relationship (and all that revolve around it, our families going well together, my young siblings...
  7. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    I also really like this idea, especially since we usually don't talk about serious things wen we are together. We usually initiate discussions with others (friends, family) and then, when we're just the two of us, we talk about it a bit more. I started volunteering recently and as we were having...
  8. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    Answer to Shaya Answer to Shaya: You wrote an accurate analysis of Be. He's a giver - we both are actually. He does put everyone's needs before his own. He's loved for his dedication. Whenever we visit friends or family, he does the dishes, play with kids, fires the barbecue... He really went...
  9. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    Answer to GalaGirl I've been away for a while, I wasn't feeling well. I started a draft of my answers but had to rewrite some parts, so sorry in advance if it's not enjoyable to read :( First, my answer to GalaGirl : Answer to GalaGirl : GalaGirl, I wish I could tell you you got it all wrong...
  10. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    Hi GalaGirl, I quoted my mom because I thought about what she said at that time when I hoped for reassurance and got showered with morale rules. It made me realize how influenced I am, and how it severed my self esteem regarding matters like polyamory (and others too but that's not the...
  11. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    I read the article you liked here, kdt26417, and I have to say I agree on most of what it says. I've had issues with jealousy earlier in my life, as I have been with a man who had a unhealthy relationship with his ex (always responding to her texts/calls before mine, and so on). I was afraid my...
  12. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    Woah, thank you all for your answers and the insights you gave me. I feel overwhelmed, I've opened a door that I have no idea how to go through... So I gues I'll start by simply taking a peek first. I'll answer to each of you, for you all really helped. I'll take my time in that too, though :o...
  13. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    IV) Am I poly? [What brings me back here] What happened with Sleepwalker strengthened my relationship with Be. We grew closer, became more comfortable and safe with each other. Sleepwalker and I still work on our writing project, we expect it to be ready for September. Last January, some...
  14. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    III) Polyamory.com [what brought me here] I came to this forum last November as I was struggling with feelings I had for another man. It begun last August, and after a roller-coaster of emotions and events I'd say my feelings settled down on March. For eight months I kept those feelings secret...
  15. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    II) Who is Be [what matters] My current boyfriend, Be, is 26. We met 4 and a half years ago, and at the end of the month we'll celebrate our 4th year together. Be has a very complicated past, and I don't know a whole lot of it. What I know is that his parents had divorced early and that his...
  16. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    I) Who am I (what matters) I feel it is important to give you a better idea of who I am and how my heart and mind work. It'll help (me?) determine how I view poly and how I fit in this whole thing. That being said, remember that I am only 24 and still have a lot to learn/to work on. I've...
  17. Z

    Zeggplant is back (with a lot of questions)

    Hi everyone, I've spent the last 2 days writing down some thoughts I had. I would like to share them with you here, and I hope you can give me some feedback. It'll be a 4 part thing, with a lot of text. I'll tell you who I am, who is my partner, why I came on this forum last November and how...
  18. Z

    I think I need some kind words...

    Writting things down can help me have a better understanding of what I want/need, that's for sure... But it won't help me communicate with Be. I want to entrust him, I want us to actually talk about things. I think if I want to improve our communication it has to be by actually talking. I've...
  19. Z

    I think I need some kind words...

    Oh, okay then, I really thought you wanted me to leave Be at any cost and couldn't figure out why ^^; You're right though, I *am* afraid to shake that comfortable life we're having right now, especially since he's being such a sweetheart to me... Every time he says "I love you" and I say "me...
  20. Z

    I think I need some kind words...

    I am sorry GalaGirl but I fail to see why you keep pushing me towards separation ? Perhaps you still think I am in am abusive relationship and I am too blinded to see it or something like that? I don't intend on moving out at all, this whole questioning didn't stop me from loving Be or wanting...
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